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Not Your Typical Mood Music

Not Your Typical Mood Music

In the heat of the moment, it can be difficult to remember to put on a condom.

But soon, you can express that sexual tension by recording “Heat of the Moment” by the supreme 80s rock band Asia and letting that glorious chorus play over and over and over again to the rhythm of your lovemaking. Talk about a way to catapult your sex life to another dimension!

It’s called the Force-Sensitive, Sound-Playing Condom. Though it looks like your average condom, don’t be fooled. It contains itty bitty piezoelectric sound transducers (I don’t know what those are, but it sounds small, cool, and like something that’s safe to put next to your genitals). These transducers are held snugly at the base of the condom and allow the user to record a song snippet, voice recording or sound effect. The recordings are “activated by forceful movements.” Oh, the possibilities.

The Force-Sensitive, Sound-Playing Condom still needs a few tweaks and plugs (that’s what she said) before it’s ready for commercial store shelves. After all, at this point, all the sound would be easily muffled from all the bumping action downtown. But just think how quickly cell phone technology has grown; that rapid sound quality progression is exactly what’s keeping U.S. patent holder Paul Lyons’ head—(and pants perhaps?)—high.  

If you were willing to try the Force-Sensitive, Sound-Playing Condom, what would you record on it?

 —Laura Lee Bloor

Posted: 12/5/08
shrnjsn

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  • By shrnjsn
  • on 10/5/16 9:52 AM EST
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LMAYO9

haha martskin that is awesome.

cobber you might be on to something with that pasties as drums thing. it could be like guitar hero, but for intimacy.

this seems like a scene for a future judd apatow movie...where someone programs some kenny g/muzak type music into the condom...or "The Final Countdown" which would be incredibly amusing.

  • By LMAYO9
  • on 12/5/08 11:15 AM EST
cobber

On second thought, sample James Brown: "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow . . . ." That should help. :-)

  • By cobber
  • on 12/5/08 10:28 AM EST
cobber

Ack! I can hear it now, the overuse of synthesizer music. And, synthesizers in music are like implants in bodies. Somethin' unnecessary's happenin'. What's next? Pasties with drum tracks? I'm glad these aren't on the market yet.

  • By cobber
  • on 12/5/08 10:26 AM EST
aliciak

I am speechless. No I'm not! That's crazy! I, *ahem*, don't think I'd partake in this either...

  • By aliciak
  • on 12/5/08 10:13 AM EST
carolineshannon

Oh, wow, I would never, ever use this. *blush* I would imagine it would be quite distracting. And I would feel like I was doing a bit of disservice to the many musicians I love if I involved them in such a decision as a Force-Sensitive, Sound-Playing Condom. Sorry, I love Frank just oh-too-much to expose him to such sexual measures. *giggle*

Martskin

I think there's only one song you can put on there:

Link