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Helen Fisher

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Life coach and author of Becoming: “The One"
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If Seasonal Affective Disorder (or life in general) has you down, take steps to deal with depression. You aren't weak and you won't feel this way forever. October is Depression Education and Awareness Month-become educated and aware.
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Top 5 Things to Do

Everyone knows relationships take work. However, it’s arguable that finding a new relationship takes the most work of all. But the process, as you will find, is fun and exciting—and you may discover more about yourself along the way. As you dive into the first 30 days of finding that special someone, here are the top five things you should keep in mind:

1. Assess your life.

Take stock of your life and determine if anything needs to change for you to attract the right person. Do you need to update your wardrobe? Move out of your parents’ house? Reinvent yourself physically? Find closure in past relationships? Before you begin looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, make sure you’re someone your ideal mate will want, as well.

2. Get out there.

From online dating to religious services to matchmakers, there have never been more avenues to find “The One.” Take advantage of the wealth of options at your fingertips and keep an open mind. Go on that blind date. Join that club. Read in the park, not in your living room. You might make a new friend, discover a new side of yourself or even experience something funny that you can laugh about with your friends.

3. Be aware your body language.

You could be in the right place at the right time wearing the right outfit, but if you’re staring at your feet, it will be awfully hard for the love of your life to approach you. Pay attention to the vibes you’re sending out—are you making eye contact with people, smiling and starting conversations? Are you walking tall with your head held high and your shoulders back? Nothing is more attractive than confidence and poise.

4. If it’s not right, move on.

You’re on a date with someone who seemed great on paper, but in person, he or she just isn’t what you’re seeking. Don’t go on another date because you feel guilty—that isn’t doing anyone any favors. Each time you continue to go out with the wrong person, you’re missing an opportunity to meet the right person. Remember, these 30 days aren’t about finding a mediocre relationship—they’re about finding someone special.

5. Enjoy yourself.

Don’t lose sight of the fact that dating is fun! Enjoy getting to know new people, trying new activities and exploring the fun, sexy parts of yourself. Each day and each date brings you a step closer to finding your dream person—and becoming a dream person yourself.

Posted: 10/3/07
pbarto

good article, makes you think more about what you are doing wrong, in trying to find mr right.

  • By pbarto
  • on 4/19/08 9:51 AM EST
first30days.com