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Amber Dotts on Finding a New Romance

Amber Dotts on Finding a New Romance

In 1999, Amber Dotts abandoned her job in corporate America to embark on a career as an internationally recognized motivational speaker and coach. After touring with Tony Robbins for eight years, she branched out to develop “The Three Keys to Having it All” workshop series, which focuses on helping people unlock the hidden power of their own desires. She holds degrees in psychology and sociology and certifications in neuro-linguistic programming and hypnosis, and her clients range from Olympic athletes to CEOs to artists. Here, Dotts shares her tips and secrets for the first 30 days of finding a new relationship.

What are some of the common mistakes people make when looking for a new relationship?

People often fail to distinguish what it is they want to attract in a partner or relationship. They should look at the mistakes of the past in an effort to create something new. Yet, all too often, people end up dating the same guy/girl—just with different hair and a different name.

They also fail to resolve past relationships. It is much easier to move into something new if the past feels clean and complete. Before finding the love of my life, I went through each relationship of my past and found something to be grateful for in each man. I found at least one quality each man possessed that was a quality I desired for my dream man. I then called each ex and acknowledged this quality and thanked him for our time together. Granted, this exercise was not easy, but it was extremely powerful for all involved.

The last mistake people make is they get too serious, becoming so intent on finding “The One” that they forget to enjoy the journey. They forget to have fun—and fun is crazy-attractive.

How can people find the right person for ourselves?

Create a “Dream Partner” list and journal extensively about this person you’ve created on paper—who he or she is, what he or she believes, how he or she shows up in your life, the things you will do together and most importantly, how he or she makes you feel. Act as if this person is really coming. Create a space for this person in your life. Know that he or she is coming; believe that he or she is coming. Physically create a space for him or her in your closet, a drawer and in your life. Ladies, start wearing sexy underwear every day. Guys, start cleaning your shower daily as if there will be a bathing beauty there later this week.

Next: date! Flirt. Put yourself out there. Get into the world—proximity is important. Decide who you want and then put yourself where you need to be. You want a cowboy? Go to the rodeo. You want a sexy librarian? Go to the library.


How can people visualize success while searching for a new relationship?

Simply visualize being loved and loving, using all your senses. Imagine and create the feelings that go along with being in love. Then take action in the direction of your desires. When I decided I really wanted to be serious about having a relationship, I booked a ticket to Assisi, Italy, one of my favorite places in the world. I’d always thought that if I ever got married, Assisi would be the place I would hold my wedding. I even picked out the chapel! Anyway, I spent two days there by myself, writing about my dream man. I would go to the olive groves where St. Francis of Assisi talked to the birds. Then I went to my chapel and I found a wedding planner. I did everything you need to do to plan a wedding. I really visualized it, created it: “This is what it will look like, this is what it will feel like.” My wedding planner looked at me and said “Oh, Bella, tell me about your man!” And I said, “I don’t know—I haven’t met him yet.” She looked at me like I was insane and just said, “Crazy American!”

Two years later, I met my man, and we went to Assisi and used the same wedding planner; we even told the story at our wedding. Bottom line: It wasn’t until I became really committed, did the visualization and work, declared it was going to happen and took action that I met the right person.

How should people act during the first 30 days of finding a new relationship?

Be yourself—but be your most extraordinary self. Use this time to become the person you have always wanted to be. Do the things you have always wanted to do. Create the body you have always wanted to have, design the dream job, plan that African safari or the trip down the Nile—be someone who is already living a full, rich and gorgeous life. Fall in love with your own life and, above all, be playful!

What can people do to keep things in perspective during this time of ups and downs?

Remain patient. Know that your dream person will come when the time is right and, until then, continue to be in love with your own life.

What emotions and changes can people expect during the first 30 days?

With change comes a full range of emotions—excitement, anticipation, passion, fear, anxiety, doubt. To overcome negative emotions, the smartest thing to do is acknowledge that it is natural to feel them and that to remain with them is a choice. Police your thoughts. The moment you are getting sucked into an emotion that is disempowering, redirect your thoughts and use the statement: “OK, this is how I am feeling now—but what do I want to feel?”

Are there any new trends or ideas related to this subject? An unusual or unorthodox way to meet someone, perhaps?

As a coach, I have an 11-day challenge that I have given to clients who are ready to meet someone and begin a relationship. I have them get comfortable with connecting and acknowledging strangers. Here is the assignment:

For the next 11 days, connect with 11 new men or women a day. You must greet them and then acknowledge something about them that you appreciate. For example, if you are at Starbucks and behind an irate customer, when it is your turn to place an order, share with the clerk how impressed you are with how elegantly he or she handled the guy before you: “You really have a way with people. And by the way, you are quite striking also.” Add the last statement only if you are feeling bravely playful. There is no agenda but to acknowledge the person and then be on your merry way. This exercise boosts confidence, gets people comfortable with being playful and conditions them to look for what they love in people.


What is the belief you personally go to during times of change?

I immediately remind myself that I am responsible for creating the life that I am living. I get very clear on what it is that I want and then move my thoughts in that direction. If change is particularly painful—as it often is—I hear my father’s voice in my head saying, “This, too, shall pass.” It is also helpful to remember how uncomfortable the cocoon must be for the butterfly as she is trying to break free.

The best thing about change is…

...it means I am alive! And as long as I am alive, I am learning; and as long as I am learning, I am growing; and with that growth comes limitless possibilities.

What is the best change you have ever made?

In 1999, I quit my corporate America job, broke up with my boyfriend and sold my house—all in the space of two weeks. Massive change, massive uncertainty—and I felt more alive than I had ever felt in my life.

For more information on Amber Dotts, visit www.threekeystohavingitall.com.

Posted: 10/3/07


My name is CINDY SCOTT am from BELARUS, am a woman who loves and cherish my husband more than any other thing you can imagine on earth surface. My husband was so lovely and caring after 9 years of marriage he was seriously ill and the doctor confirm and said he has a kidney infection that he needed a kidney donor, that was how I started searching for a good Samaritan who can help,doctor has given me a periodic hour that he will live just 2 days left, that was how I ask the doctor if I can be of help to my husband that was how he carried out the test,the confirming was successful, I was now having this taught that since 9 years now we got married I have not be able to get pregnant can I be able to get pregnant again after thr surgery? That was the question I ask the doctor, he never answer his response was do you want to lost your husband? I immediately reply no I can't afford to loose him. After the operation i and my husband came back home and live happily as husband and wife should. After 7 months my husband came home with another lady telling me, that is our new wife that will give us kids and take care of us, that was how I was confused and started crying all day, That was not enough soonest my husband ran away with the new find love and never keep in contact with me. Since then I was confuse don't no what to do that was how I went back to the doctor and tell him everything, he told me that, this is not just an ordinary thing that he have heard of us situation so many times but he knows a man who is a voodoo spell caster who can help me out of my present situation that he has directed more 6 woman to him and they all came back with positive testimonials about him that I should tell him all my problem that he can help me out that was how i contacted him and i did as instructed. After 3 days and I have done what he ask me to do, my husband started searching for me that was how we settle he also told me not to worry that I will get pregnant, this month making it the fifth Month I contacted him am now 3 months pregnant. These great spell cater is a great man, if you are in any kind of problem you can contact him here on his email OGUDUSPELLTEMPLE@YAHOO.COM...WHATSAPP NUMBER +2348106058254...WEBSITE...Link


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  • By ana654
  • on 8/7/16 10:29 AM EST

Hi everyone, I am so excited to share this with you all, about this powerfully and genuine spell caster who save my marriage and brought my husband back to me today. I am Natasha Hayes by name and i reside here in London, United Kingdom. I'm happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{Unityspelltemple@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past{7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our marriage was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster Dr Unity. So, i will advice you out there, if you have any problem contact Dr Unity and i guarantee you that he will help you and you will be the next to share your testimony to every one in the world!!. Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com or call him on +2348072370762 and you can also visit his website for more details: Link. thanks to Dr Unity please share this with your friends..


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