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Forgive Thy Neighbor in Four Easy Steps

Forgive Thy Neighbor in Four Easy Steps

We’ve mentioned that forgiveness is healthy, leading to improvements in blood pressure, depression, anxiety, stress and chronic pain. So let’s all run out and forgive everyone, and the world will be a much better place, right?

If only it were that simple.

You can’t just flip a switch and forgive someone. If you aren’t sure how to forgive, start with a small step to get you moving in the right direction. Redbook outlines four phases of forgiveness that you can follow in any order:

1. Admit you are hurt. Denying hurtful feelings only brings them out in other areas of your life.
2. Decide you’re ready to let go. Remind yourself forgiving doesn’t mean condoning or forgetting, just letting go of the anger and resentment.
3. See the issue from their side. Ask yourself why the person might have done what he or she did? Empathy can help you take things less personally.
4. Reflect on the silver lining. For many people, forgiveness changes their perspective on life for the better.

Posted: 2/6/09
2/7/09 Next Tip»
joylisa

Oh my goodness! This article is so right-on! Thank you very much for this, as I needed a 'reality' check!! Another reason for me to be grateful for ME, as my neighbors could be going through issues of their OWN, and sometimes I need someone or something to REMIND me of that fact, I am not always #1 in everyone elses' life, and should not expect to be so.

I am going to SHARE this article with my neighbors, and I have a great friend that is having deep issues with her own neighbors, and sometimes I just want to YELL at her, to make her realize that SHE, too, isn't the only person in the building (or on the block, lol), and that there are easier ways to deal with things rather than call the landlord every darn time that she has issues! (same for me, but I am a mender of sorts, I TRY to talk with my neighbors and air the issues, if I can't get them resolved, then I call the landlord)

Again, thank you! Joylisa