"I am going to buy your book today and sign up for your change tips. Thank you for your help." -Jana
Read More Testimonials»

Our Making Change Easier Experts

Katie Danziger

Katie Danziger

Mompreneur of nomiebaby.com

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Gerald Levin

Gerald Levin

Presiding director of Moonview Sanctuary and former CEO of...

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Gary King

Gary King

Speaker, author, life coach and mentor

Shared by First30Days View Profile»

Meet all of our New Directions Experts»

Got a Question?


If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!


Question: I am suffering from loneiness, fear how do I handle this?

Some times in the middle of the night I am up and alone in the house and where there was once a few people living in the house with me are now gone. I just moved to a new city and have not been able to get around yet, I'm looking to purchase a car. My children are grown. and I want to cry because I have no one there or to talk to or see. All of my friends are in anothe state. as well as my family members. what can I do to help relieve these moments when they will return as I am sitting here this time of morning its 6:11 A.M.

Asked by searching2ucjh on 8/18/08 5 Answers»


I too find that some sort of physical exercise or activity helps me get through tough times. I like to go biking when I'm feeling down because it really does clear my mind--I'm forced to concentrate on the road, figure out where I'm going, and enjoy the sights. When I go home, I feel a "good" kind of tired but I also feel refreshed.

Something else I used to do when I missed someone in particular is try to think about what I would talk about with them/tell them when I DID see them next. I imagined what that future meeting would be like, and sometimes that would motivate me to do something fun. For instance, reading a book I think we'd like to discuss, or visiting some neighborhood place. That would make me feel connected to the person in their absence.

Answered by: aliciak on 8/20/08


If you have a phone you can certainly call your friends or family members. I'm sure they would be happy to hear from you. Don't assume you are troubling anyone.

I don't know if you have a computer but if you do, you can use Skype - for free - to do video conferencing. It's fun to see people's faces.

I like to send cards. When I see cards on sale I pick up a bunch. I even buy the 99 cent ones because it's the thought, not the cost. You can fill out a few cards in the morning and send them off, knowing how they will make the receiver smiler. And what could happen is that you might receive some in return.

I also think I've seen good advice here about meditation as well as using affirmations when you're feeling a little fearful or low on hope.

There's a good quote from Shakespeare about there being nothing good nor bad but thinking makes it so. Assure yourself you have no reason to feel fear and turn those negative thoughts around. Your life will be filling soon enough as you venture out and explore your new city. Visualize what that new future looks like for you. Focus on how happy you will be when you're family is visiting and you're able to show them around like a native.

Put some dates on the calendar with people to get together. You'll feel better knowing you will have that time together in the future. I wish you all the best!

Answered by: VictoriaB on 8/19/08


find something that you are passionate about. Use your imagination. when you open your heart people reach out to you fear is not a natural emotion. It is a parasite when you let it take over enjoy life be fearless not fearful

Answered by: imaginedorothy on 8/19/08


Get out of the house! I was let go from my job of 35 years! I was depressed and scared. I started going to the mall near my house and walking. The mall opens at 6 am.
You sound like a brave person to have made such drastic changes in your life.
Hang in there!
God Bless You.

Answered by: caterina63 on 8/18/08


It sounds like you have a lot of changes happening at once...that's enough to keep anyone up at night! I hope you've found our content on moving to a new city and your empty nest...perhaps you can find some support and tips to get you through these tough times.

I applaud your courage in making the leap to be somewhere new on your own! I'm certain you'll make friends in time. Be sure to get out of the house at least once a day...even if you can't get too far without a car, there must be something in walking distance.

Remember—from this, something good will come! Please come back and fill us in on how it's going. We're here for you.

Answered by: kristen on 8/18/08
Got an Answer?