Cassandra are you sure you have lost the desire to drink or is it you just know you can't. I myself still do have the desire to drink. I still wish I could have a cold beer once and awhile and have even thought to myself can I drink socially. But I know that the answer is that I cannot, because it would just not finish at one. It would be finish the case and go make a beer store run. The urge to drink has just never left me but the strength that I have built up in me by considering what the poison (and it is poison you have to think that) will do to me and most importantly the peolple who have stood by me during this time. It would be hard to let all those people and myself down. That would be tough.
Get well be strong

You are on the right path the and most important is awareness you are aware there is a problem only then can you accept that your alcohol consumption is a problem. And that there is a strong possibility that you have the disease of addiction charectorized by obsession and compulsion to use whatever alters your mood and takes you out side of yourself. I know this because I was there almost 15 years ago I too thought it was hopeless and at the time I was lonley angry and tired of my life and began committing a slow suicide. It was not until i surrendered and accepted that I was powerless over my addiction to alcohol and sought professional help did I begin the process of recovery. I am here if you need a shoulder and if an alcoholic like me can loose the desire to drink for 15 years so can you.

I made my choice to quit drinking 12 long dry years ago.Do not think for one second it was, is, or ever will be easy. I decided one day to finally quit and did not even finish my last beer.
All of my life I was always addicted to something or another. I have never gone to AA in this last bout of sobriety. I had been to AA previously bacause I have known about my problem since my late teens.
Just because I have not participated in any type of group, does not mean I do not encourage it. If you require it do it. It is an hour of your life you should award your mind and soul each week or each day if needed.
The biggest thing you need to do is start associating in any way you can find possible, to seek different friends and changing your surroundings of places you frequent.
You may have found that your family has alienated you while you were being drunk, or now that you have decided to quit, as they want to continue drinking. LET THEM!!!! It is time to take control of you. They will come around or not.
Fight this everyday of your life it is worth it.
Since I have quit drinking the number of free alcohol parties I have been a part of is unfathomable. I would have never been invited to these events had I been drinking.
You say you are lonely now? You know what? It gets very lonely when you quit. Actually it gets so lonely that is why the fall off the wagon percentages are so high. So yes it is lonely, so read, walk, do whatever it takes because the loneliness will pass. Get a pet. It gives you a reason and responsibity. And hey if you get to lonely you can always go back to the bar you frequented and that same mooch at the end of the bar that you thought was a friend when you were drinking, but have not heard from since, will still be sitting there at the end of the bar being lonely.
I am only one person with a short story but it would be neat to see in twelve years from now you were writing this from your shoes.
I wish you good will because it is not luck that gets you through.

S/C- Check out this link Link , it's a real eye-opener. The problem I had was that the more I drank, the lonelier I got. I'd sit on the couch, stare at the corner where the wall meets the ceiling and.....THINK. It was no fun at all. Then a friend gave me the blue AA book and I remember reading ..."We will know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we'll know peace. No matter how far down we've gone, we'll see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear, self seeking will slip away and we'll gain interest in our fellows. Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change, fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. We'll intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves." I've never forgotten the first time I read those words, I cried...that's all I ever really wanted out of life but I'd never heard it put that way before. I'm gonna dig that book out, it's around here somewhere, and it's got a lot of GREAT stories about ordinary, miserable sob's and how they found a reasonably happy way to live. I am SO glad you wrote what you did. See how it works? You shared your suffering and it benefits two beautiful little girls because, tonight, their grandpa won't be a crabby old bastard because he's feeling sorry for himself because he's thinking about himself too much. Thanks, you're alright, kiddo. Keep us posted, you don't HAVE to go through it ALONE. PS Medical help is available, you don't have to suffer needlessly. You'll be in my prayers and thoughts.

If you think you are an addict, you probably are. One sure way to find out is try going without a drink for a day or two. If you can not you are probably addicted. I am a recovering alcoholic. I have been in recovery for many years. It is not something that is ever fully "cured". The only way is to not drink at all. There is no such thing as a "controlled" alcoholic. If there was I would certainly still drink and so would all my AA friends.
We did not stop drinking because we did not like to drink, we stopped because we got tired of being sick and tired and maybe because somewhere in the back of our mind we began to realize we did not drink because we had a problem, (everyone has problems, we addicts deal with them differently) rather we began to realize drinking was at the root of our problems. We all have our stuff to deal with, by hiding, self medicating and "relaxing" ourselves with drugs and alcohol we rob ourselves of the learning process of going through them and experiencing them and learning from them, that is what "normal" people do. I highly recommend AA to anyone who thinks they have a problem. It turned my life around. I never went ot rehab, never lost a job or a home directly because of alcohol and certainly did not think I was one. I am and as soon as I admitted that I was on the right track. Go, what have you got to loose. They will welcome you, talk, you listen and if it is not for you, turn around and walk out. God Bless.

You are not alone. I have trouble 'unwinding' after work and a glass or 1/2 a bottle of wine helps. The expense is too much. I eat more which I don't want to do. It makes me sleepy but then I wake up and am dehydrated. and it's hard to go back to sleep. I get less accomplished. I make more mistakes in my work as it affects my memory and concentration. I found this site and it helped. I also live alone but I'm not bored. If anything, not enough hours in the day. I'm not lonely as I get e-mails and calls from friends and family. If anything they take much of my time. I have many interests too. I love to read and I can't seem to find time. The wine 'slows' me down. Sort of self-medication. I don't know the solution but since I started the '30 days' reading (about 16 days) I only relapsed 3 times. I forgive myself and keep on going. I have more energy, better memory, more control of my emotions, less spending, less trash, I eat less and exercise more, I sleep better and am more aware and make less mistakes at work. I used to smoke. I did for 35 years now it's 9 years since I quit.. I don't want to quit wine completly but I want it to be a more controlled thing. An 'occasional' treat in a limited way. Not an escape and something I do to numb myself to stress and pain.
The only way to do that is to DO IT!
Make a list of pros and cons and your rational mind will indicate what needs to be done because your instinct to survive will take over.
Hope this helped.