Posts tagged with ‘marriage advice’

29 may

The True Opportunities to Express Love

MotiRonit

The expression of love does not require a special holiday, particularly in a couple’s relationship. We have an opportunity to re-embrace and ignite the spark in our relationship several times a year, not just on major holidays, birthdays, Mother’s/Father’s Day, and other special occasions. We certainly recognize our partner’s achievement on Valentine’s Day, and traditionally express our love to our significant others by giving scripted cards and gifts. For a moment our relationship with our loved one feels re-energized. On this day, the opportunity to affirm our affection and feelings of affinity towards our significant others arrives, via a structurally set date on the calendar.

This occasion, Valentine’s Day, is also an opportunity for couples to reaffirm their commitment to one another, from rewriting their vows to finding various ways to celebrate each other and the relationship. Partners can reignite their passion and bring back the vitality into their union. While particular dates on the calendar reawaken the chance to express our love, many couples neglect those elements of the relationship during the rest of the year. Couples may take the relationship for granted and leave it vulnerable and untended.

So, why can’t every day become an opportunity to celebrate the relationship? Why do lovers need to wait or depend on a special occasion to express love to one another?

The “Ego 2 Heart” listening and communication practice for couples emphasizes the daily awareness to reach couples’ intimate connectedness. It supports a daily cultivation of the relationship through non-judgmental listening and communicating. The following are amongst some of the daily opportunities to express love and deepen your intimate bond.

  1. It is helpful to remember that our partner is the other half of self. When we communicate daily, positive affirmations, support and affection, it empowers our partner and strengthens the relationship.
  2. Remain mindful to give as much as we receive, talk as much as we listen and provide pleasure as much as we enjoy receiving it. It helps to explain our likes and dislikes, what makes us feel good, what turns us on. We need to share and encourage our partner to do the same.
  3. Giving your partner space and taking time for self individually can be energetically replenishing. We need to keep in mind the importance of surprise, humor, playfulness, spontaneity, adventure and creativity. Break the routine by exploring new places and activities together such as camping, traveling to an exotic place and spending time in nature.

These are only a few of the various opportunities to express love and deepen our relationships. Showing your vulnerability and expressing to your partner a heartfelt affirmation such as, “I want you to know how important you are to me in my life. Who you are makes the difference in my life,” can further deepen your intimacy,

Dr. Moti Peleg & Ronit

For more information on Dr. Moti and Ronit Peleg, Ego to Heart workshops, their Oprah Show appearance and their upcoming book, “Destined Encounter,” go to www.ego2heart.org.

If you felt moved, inspired, touched, helped, annoyed, or anything after reading this, please let us know. Our wonderful bloggers really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s super easy and takes a minute. Click on comments below.

Posted by Moti & Ronit Peleg on May 29th, 2011 in Relationships, Spirituality | No comments Read related posts in , , , , , ,

04 feb

5 Communication Tips to Spark Up Your Intimate Relationship

MotiRonitIn today’s fast paced society, more and more people find it difficult to listen to one another. The stress of modern, daily living affects many areas of our lives, and it particularly takes a huge toll on relationships. Too often, we tend to run our lives in a robotic manner, communicating through codes and SMS.

We often see people talking at one another rather than to each other, hearing but not really listening. Many cannot wait for individuals to finish talking. They cut them off before they complete their sentence, and in turn come up with an answer to bring up their own agenda. Chances are that you have been in this situation and can recall your feelings of frustration.

Do you remember a time in your life when you felt someone really listened to you with his/her whole being?

Do you recall listening to someone wholeheartedly with “all ears”?
Listening plays an important role in the success and vitality of relationships. Heartfelt listening enables an intimate connectedness and an empowered union to flourish. An honest wholehearted listening deepens the partners’ familiarity with one another and opens their eyes to explore the richness of each other’s inner worlds. It offers an opportunity to discover the mystery of intimacy.

Dr. Jack Zimmerman and Dr. Jaquelyn McCandells developed a relationship model for couples intimacy which is based on a unique way of communicating and listening without judgment .The practice named, “Flesh & Spirit”, emphasizes listening to the voice of the relationship, which best serves the relationship. This practice enables a heartfelt dialogue which transcends the couple’s relationship into a new path- a place of the heart. The model encourages the growth of the relationship as well as the individual empowerment within the relationship. Many couples that practice this heartfelt communication reported rejuvenation and a deepening of their intimate bond.

HERE ARE FIVE TIPS THAT IMPROVE AND DEEPEN INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS.
1. Designate time to frequently celebrate the relationship

Allocate a quiet place with no interruptions from cell phones, TV. etc. Create a romantic setting filled with candlelight. Sit, facing one another, hold hands, look into each other’s eyes and share a positive story, a positive memory that you remember about your partner. Focus on something you love and appreciate in your partner that brings a smile to your face.

Not only share with your partner what you feel will enhance the relationship and deepen your intimate bond, but also share what are you willing to do to make it happen.

The practice helps create a safe environment that can transform your relationship into a source of inspiration by stretching your imagination through, creativity, playfulness, humor, adventure and spontaneity. The transformation brings a fresh new energy and a renewed life force into the union.

2. Listening without interruption

Each time you feel like reacting when your partner speaks, take a deep breath, and listen to the end of his/her last word. It helps to use a talking piece, and only the person who speaks, holds it. Put the talking piece down when you finished speaking, and allow your partner to express him/her self.

3. Speaking from the “I feel”

Ask yourself, “am I communicating from my ego or from my heart?” Relax and be totally present. Allow your vulnerability to emerge when you speak from the” I feel” place rather than reacting or blaming. When speaking from the heart, share how you feel without pointing a finger. It creates a room for healing, as obstacles and challenges turn into stepping-stones and opportunities for growth.

4. Affirmations

We all can use positive affirmation… a show of love, kindness and support rather than criticism.

Express to your partner frequent words of affirmation. Compliment your partner. Leave love notes, write poems and love letters, and express positive validation towards your partner for the things he/she does that make you feel good. Familiarize yourself with those things that make your partner happy or that are important to him/her.

A hug, a pinch, or a smile will spark up your day. Your relationship thrives on such shows of affection.

5. From the “Me” to “We”

In every relationship, there is an individual voice within each partner that feeds self-indulgent, egotistical needs. But it is important to stay mindful of the relationship’s needs. This third voice is called “The Voice of the Relationship”, a neutral voice that serves the well being of the relationship. In times of tension, conflicts and disagreements, attuning to the voice of the relationship cultivates a conciliatory atmosphere by bringing a different perspective to consider. It’s like going out to the balcony to get a different view on things.

Dr. Moti Peleg & Ronit Rinat Peleg

If you felt moved, inspired, touched, helped, annoyed, or anything after reading this, please let us know. Our wonderful bloggers really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s super easy and takes a minute. Click on comments below.

Posted by Moti & Ronit Peleg on February 4th, 2011 in Uncategorized | No comments Read related posts in , , , , , , , ,

14 dec

Destined Encounter

MotiRonitFinding our full essence as individuals and as intimate partners.

“The most beautiful and profound emotion we can experience is the sensation of the mystical. It is the sower of all science. The one to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer wander and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead. To know what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty which our dull faculties can comprehend only in their most primitive forms.” -Albert Einstein

A DATE WITH DESTINY

On the morning of November 14 2007, my life changed forever. I was a guest with my wife Ronit on the Oprah Winfrey show on ABC titled, “The Greatest Love Story Ever Told”. (See ego2heart.org). After Oprah described my love story with Ronit as “A Date with Destiny”, I awakened to the realization that the path leading to our destined meeting with Oprah was already scripted deep in me, early in my life. It dawned on me that all my life I followed interactive signs and synchronicities with intuitive feelings that guided me without full understanding. The signs often signaled to an approaching destined event, a culmination of interactive situations leading to my destined encounter. It is as if I unconsciously participated in a motion, unaware fully of the entire script that has shaped my life. Our appearance on Oprah was no different. It was a significant event in our life that was meant to be.

Three years earlier, destiny united me with my wife Ronit. As a 17 year old boy, I watched the newly crowned Miss Israel (Ronit) in a magazine photo and I felt mysteriously connected to her sad green/blue eyes. Those eyes beckoned to me from afar. Without understanding it, I knew I would connect with her some day, and I did forty years later. In retrospect, whenever I interacted with people and situations that lead to my destined encounters, I always felt like I was drawn without full clarity to something bigger than myself, like a calling of the divine. Today as a psychologist, a soul mate and an intimacy communicator, I still wonder what would have become of my life had I ignored destiny’s magic of hidden possibilities and the power of my dreams.

LOOKING FOR HAPPINESS IN THE WRONG PLACES

People everywhere around the globe, regardless of their various life situations, yearn to feel happy. They strive every day to find opportunities that would bring them closer to feeling good through achievement, material success, recognition and love. Ironically many people feel disconnected from their true feelings, from which they truly are and what they ultimately are destined to fulfill as individuals and as intimate partners. Throughout their lives they continue to crave happiness through the superficiality of ego-driven recognition and prestige. Nevertheless, destiny lurks deep inside each one of us, demanding happiness through the full expression of our spirit. Thus the question remains, if happiness is the overall, most important life purpose, why is it difficult to open ourselves up to the mystery and wonder of destiny?

DESTINY IS INSIDE OF US–THE PARADOX

To understand this dilemma, we need to first explore the concept of destiny and the destined encounter. Destiny is the ultimate meeting with the fullness of our being, with our true purpose. It is inside each one of us. From the time we are born, everything we need to fulfill our lives is built within us including abundance and happiness. Paradoxically, as we grow and mature, we are encouraged to deny our true self, embracing the egotistical belief that our very essence is tied to material possessions. Ironically, we feel cultural validations define us, as well as the power we falsely believe we can acquire from outer sources such as accomplishments, recognition and fame.

We derail our opportunity to encounter destiny when we cannot connect with our soul. We disconnect from a part of us we lost, left vulnerable to the external forces that feed our demanding ego. Yearning for love, as explained by Kathy Freston, is virtually a search to reunite with spirit, with that lost and disconnected part of ourselves, which we always desire. Love thus entails an individual as well as a relationship search, to become more complete and whole. Through a soulful bond, love requires us to actualize who we are, rather than who we think we are. Love is a destined encounter with our true self that encompasses the divinity within us.

DESTINY BEYOND THE SHADOWS

Deepak Chopra and Robert Ohotto stress that our soul is a pure entity within our being that contains the inscription created for our life and this is the blue print of our existence. When we learn to listen intuitively to our soul’s whisper and silently observe the signs and synchronicities of our surroundings, we become conscious of our life’s story and further able to fulfill our destiny.

Ironically, at the beginning of our life we possess a pure life force, and it gradually becomes inhibited by the toxicity of emotions such as shame, anger, guilt and doubt. Inevitably we become further inhibited by experiences of childhood traumas and adult life distresses. And subsequently, holding back these emotions prevents us from realizing our birth right’s gift, our innate potential.

REACHING DESTINED ENCOUNTER

How do we change this human condition and how do we emancipate ourselves to connect with our life’s purpose? According to Chopra, when we learn to live from the level of our soul, we then are able to recognize that the most luminous part of ourselves connects to the mystery and the rhythm of the universe. Thus, we discover the journey to reach our “Destined Encounter” within our self, and we increasingly are able to meet our destiny and live our purpose as individuals and intimate partners. While listening intuitively to our inner voice and to the surrounding signs and synchronicities, we make it a practice to visualize our dreams and inner wishes. Practicing stillness and daring to address the shadows that hold us back from our true self is vital in clearing the way. The shadows within cause us to hibernate through the years and remain fixated in our comfortable and self imposed interactions with our significant others, our intimate partner and the universe. Through an honest discovery via authentic listening and communicating, we address and embrace the wounds, making it possible for the light behind the shadows to emerge. We uncover the gifts that manifest our deepest capacity to be loved and to love.

AN INVITATION

I would like to invite you, the readers, to connect to times in your life where an experience intrigued and overwhelmed you, an experience you could not explain but later led to an important event in your life whether with a situation, a person or an encounter of any kind.

“We have to trust that seemingly isolated events and hard to rationalize decisions that are like musical notes that eventually form the melody that reveals the divinity of our lives.” -Nurriestearns

Dr. Moti Peleg

For more information on Dr. Moti and Ronit Peleg, Ego to Heart workshops, their Oprah Show appearance and their upcoming book, “Destined Encounter,” go to www.ego2heart.org.

If you felt moved, inspired, touched, helped, annoyed, or anything after reading this, please let us know. Our wonderful bloggers really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s super easy and takes a minute. Click on comments below.

Posted by Moti & Ronit Peleg on December 14th, 2010 in Relationships, Spirituality | No comments Read related posts in , , , ,