Posts tagged with ‘gifts’

10 feb

Be a Great Valentine – Give the Gift of Words

Puhn5 Free Gifts for Him and Her

Are you looking for a meaningful Valentine’s Day without spending a dime? Share the gifts below with the one you love.

Gift of Words #1 – Compliment Your Mate Inside and Out:
There are two types of compliments: those that address a person’s outer appearance and those that address a person’s inner character. Surprisingly, our research shows 84% of people prefer to receive a character compliment as in, “you are an incredibly kind person,” over a comment like “your hair looks great.” Start sharing character comments with your honey today.

Gift of Words #2 – Show You Care:
We all experience unique events during our busy days so when our mate shows interest in our day’s happenings it creates an immediate loving bond with him/her. Find something in your mate’s schedule on Valentine’s Day (and other days too) such as a special meeting, an important errand, A doctor’s appointment, and call/text/email mid-day specifically to ask how it went.

Gift of Words #3 – Talk Forward:
If you want to have a special Valentine’s Day, it’s important to persuade your mate that he or she is special to you every day, not just on Valentine’s Day. Do this by “talking forward.” Take charge and make a thoughtful plan for the future.. On Valentine’s Day, say, “I’d like to make a special plan for us next month. Let’s go to __________. [Fill-in with something your mate enjoys, such as a museum, the theatre, shopping, a road trip, and so on.]? What do you think?”

Gift of Words #4 – Make an Offer:
If you want to receive instant love and appreciation from your honey, volunteer to do something for your mate before he or she asks you to do it. For example, offer to pick something up at the store, offer to repair something, prepare dinner or offer to put your kids to bed (if you don’t usually). A surefire way to boost your love life is to make an offer. It says to your mate, I care about you and when you’re happy, I’m happy.

Gift of Words #5 – Be Memorable:
Do and say memorable things this Valentine’s Day and year round. Instead of dining out, create a candlelit indoor picnic. Sing karaoke together. Arrange for a massage-together. Post love notes in surprise places. Buy a lasting plant instead of flowers. Phone your mate to give a heartfelt comment during the day like, “I love you because….”.

You will spark love and romance this Valentine’s Day (and the year through) by showering your sweetheart with the priceless gift of words. Visit and pick up a copy of my best-selling book, Fight Less, Love More, for more astonishing love-building advice and information.

Laurie Puhn is a Harvard-educated lawyer, couples mediator and best-selling author of Fight Less, Love More: 5-Minute Conversations to Change Your Relationship without Blowing Up or Giving In. This article is adapted from Fight Less, Love More.

If you felt moved, inspired, touched, helped, annoyed, or anything after reading this, please let us know. Our wonderful bloggers really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s super easy and takes a minute. Click on comments below.

Posted by Laurie Puhn on February 10th, 2011 in Relationships | No comments Read related posts in ,

14 nov

The Greatest Holiday Gift

JayForteAh, the holiday season. And we are already bombarded with a Sunday paper that tips the scales with gift ads. TV and radio ads remind us of the best gifts to give, who not to forget and how to make the holidays special. Buy, buy, buy.

I don’t know about you but this can do a great job of interfering with the kind of holiday I want to have if I let it. I don’t want a holiday of stuff – I want a holiday of experiences and stories. I want a holiday of emotions and connection. I want the memories.

As kids, it wasn’t just the gifts that made us feel so terrific about the holidays, it was the memories of feeling important, cared for, loved and special. I remember very few of the gifts I received over so many past holidays. What I do remember instead is singing carols, having neighbors over, decorating the house and eating treats that only showed up at the holidays. When I think of these, I am immediately brought back to sitting by the Christmas tree. I can smell the evergreen. I can see the lights and tinsel. I can smell the cakes baking and can hear the laughing from the other rooms as neighbors come by. I am immediately transported to happy times. It was the event. It was the feeling. It wasn’t the stuff.

So here are some of my ideas of holiday gifts that move away from the stuff and go for the memories:

Hosting a party with friends where we celebrate our time together.

Having brunch with my kids where we can talk about life, their dreams of starting families and loving the moments we spend together.

Sending and receiving cards that say, though we haven’t spoken in a while, you are still in my thoughts.

Playing music that is festive and celebratory, inspiring a feeling of peace and calm.

Walking with friends, or as a family, through towns and streets decorated with things that are bright, happy and festive.

Telling stories around the table with parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, about what life was like, how each celebrated the holidays, and what made life great.

Stopping for a hot chocolate on a cold night, because we haven’t done it in a while and nothing beats the smell of hot chocolate – with whipped cream or marshmallow.

Taking an extra day off from work to be at home (not out shopping) and playing games, working on family projects or inventing a new recipe together.

Making a video where each person in the family, or each friend, records a memory of the holidays, then shares the message with the rest of the world on YouTube.

Committing the time to learn how to discuss and communicate about the things that are important to each member of the family – to help them discover their talents, strengths and passions and build a life they love.

Buying recycling bins and having everyone in the household learn how to recycle everything that can be recycled – a gift to the planet.

Being invited to, and sharing in, another person’s holiday traditions with an open mind and an appreciation for its importance to that person.

Selecting something that the receiver adores, and the giver does not add to his debt.

Holidays are terrific. They make us stop the routine and come together to celebrate. And giving seems very much a part of the holiday. But we don’t have to give until we’re broke. We also know that things never truly bring happiness, memories do.

A good friend of mine has a small artificial Christmas tree that he leaves up and lit all year. Each month, he, his wife and his son, exchange small gifts. As he told me, it is not about the gifts. It is about a small Christmas tree that stays lit all year in their house to remind them that every day is to be celebrated. Brilliant.

So as the holiday approaches, may you find new ways to celebrate. May the gifts you give and receive be personal, focused on feelings and create memories. Wishing you amazing holidays that you fondly remember forever.

Jay Forte is a business and motivational speaker, life and workplace coach. He is the author of the books, The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform the World, and Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, and the on-line resource, Stand Out and Get Hired. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to help them live fired up! More information at and

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Posted by Jay Forte on November 14th, 2010 in Family, General, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Teens, Things We Love | No comments Read related posts in , , , , , ,

24 jul

How Will You Transform the World?

JayForteWise words from Woodrow Wilson: “You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.”

Live your best life. And in the process, your best transforms the world.

I believe we invent our world in each moment; our world is created by those who live in it at this exact moment. And, the quality of our invention is based on each of us knowing ourselves to be able to contribute our best.

We are born with our unique DNA – our unique combination of talents, strengths and passions. The more we know ourselves, the more we become acquainted with our gifts – those attributes unique to us. Our happiest and most successful lives are lives that use what we are good at and passionate about doing.

This uniqueness is critical. Because we are all so different, we constantly add color, texture, experience and impact to our world. The more we know ourselves, the more we live this great uniqueness and the more of it we bring to the world. Our world expands. Our world improves. This is how we create our world. This is how we transform our world.

I see that most people live only a fraction of their capabilities – either by choice or by being unaware; they know so little about themselves and their hardwired greatness. They either don’t know how to discover what they are good at and what they are passionate about, or choose not to make the effort. The result is they do not access their greatness zone – that place of their greatest happiness – and therefore, do not bring their best to the world. You can’t bring your greatness to the world if you don’t know what it is.

Grace was an educator in a large international distributor. She spent the time to understand herself and pushed hard to land a job as an educator – a job that played to her talents and passions. She was enthusiastically connected to her students and intellectually connected to her role. Grace’s classes frequently had a waiting list. She flourished in your job, which amplified her life. She knew her talents, passions and strengths and brought her best to her work; she inspired greatness from others. She raised the bar. She wasn’t a national celebrity but was indeed a celebrity to many people she taught. She changed their worlds.

Identify several famous people who have committed themselves to their craft or area. Their talents allow them to be great at what they do. Their passion allows them to connect in an exponential way. The combination is a world changer. Think about Michelangelo, Robert Frost, Oprah Winfrey, Ellen DeGeneres, Emeril Lagasse, Charles Dickens, Abraham Lincoln, Da Vinci, Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., Babe Ruth…the list goes on. They were good at what they did and passionate about doing it. And in the process they added great value to the world. They created a more significant world. They transformed the world.

Now,identify several non-celebrities around you who have committed themselves to their craft. It could be a partner, spouse, colleague, teacher, pastor, friend or anyone else. Those who play to their greatness expand the world for all of us.

People who play small don’t transform the world. People who don’t know their talents and passions, live a fraction of their potential and their gifted lives. Not only do they miss out, but they also shortchange the world; they don’t achieve their greatness and don’t share that greatness to recreate the world in an exceptional way – each day.

Answer the following to discover more about your hardwired greatness:

* What are you good at?

* What are you passionate about?

* What is success (happiness) for you?

These questions start your process to discover the combination of gifts you were born with. You start to see your passions, talents and strengths. Use these be your best, bring your best and live your best. Besides having an amazing personal and professional life, playing to your greatness will also transform the world.

Jay Forte is a motivational speaker and performance consultant. He is the author of Fire Up! Your Employees and Smoke Your Competition, The Hunt for Opportunities Success Manual and the on-line resource, Stand Out and Get Hired. His new book, The Greatness Zone – Know Yourself, Find Your Fit, Transform the World is due out in September 2010. He works to connect people to their talents and passions to live fired up! More information at

If you felt moved, inspired, touched, helped, annoyed, or anything after reading this, please let us know. Our wonderful bloggers really do appreciate your comments and feedback. It’s super easy and takes a minute. Click on comments below.

Posted by Jay Forte on July 24th, 2010 in Career, Family, General, New Directions, Personal Stories, Relationships, Spirituality, Things We Love | 1 comment Read related posts in , , , , , ,