First 30 Days Blog

10 dec

Don’t Let Stress Ruin Your Marriage

RobertCordrayStress! It’s a natural part of life. No matter who you are or how strong you may be, stress can effect everyone from time to time. Not only does stress affect the person directly under the pressure, but it also affects the other people around them. It can take a heavy toll on relationships when not dealt with appropriately. While trying to cope with stress it’s important not to let it affect the others around you. There are some simple ways to go about doing this.

How Stress Affects Relationships

Just because you’re married doesn’t mean stress can’t affect your relationship. On the contrary, highly stressful situations probably have more of a negative impact on marriage relationships than any other relationships. Dealing with situations of work, financial worries, in-laws, or children can all pileup to add large amounts of pressure on a couple. These events can add up and present real challenges on a marriage.

Recognize Stress

Before you can deal with stress you must first recognize that you have it and it is a problem. It’s fairly easy to do a personal stress assessment to understand what your stress level might be. There are some free stress assessment quizzes available online that take less than 1 minute.

These quizzes will ask things like how well you can handle your problems or control the factors in life. Once you complete the assessment it should tell you that, yes you are stressed or no you’re not, but chances are if you’re taking the assessment you’re stressed out.

Once you recognize that you have a high level of stress it’s then possible to start targeting the cause of stress. Start by looking at the source of your problems and ways to limit it. Some stress comes from the inside, like fears or unrealistic expectations. Other stresses come from outside sources like work demands or family life. Simple things like a difficult daily commute can be a major source of stress.

Once the source of stress is identified the next step is to strategize ways to cope with it. Luckily there are many ways to self-manage stress. Exercise is a good place to start. Also, make sure you’re getting enough sleep and rest every day to help you deal with stress in a rested frame of mind.

If you’re having a hard time recognizing where stress is coming from in your own life, sometimes a trusted friend, or someone with an unbiased opinion can be of help. Life coaches can be very effective in helping you identify where the root of your stress is. A trusted friend or a life coach can help, and they can help fast.

Trying to make life as simple as possible can also calm down stress levels. There are many more ways to deal with stress so pick things that might work for you and give them a shot. Avoid dealing with stress by drinking alcohol or taking drugs.

Don’t Forget Your Relationships

As you work to identify and mitigate pressures and stress in life don’t neglect important interpersonal relationships. Keep an open dialogue between yourself and your partner. Many couples spend more time talking to friends about their issues than with their partner.

That can lead spouses to feel their being rejected. Instead of silence, try strengthening your relationship by confiding in your spouse. Talk about everyday things that are going on in your life. Day-to-day tasks at work, the news, children, or other interests you have are great places to start sharing. Silence in marriage can become habitual, so breaking those bad habits can be a challenge.

The sharing will lead to increased intimacy between couples. Intimacy does not necessarily pertain to sex. Emotional intimacy is a strong bond that can be created through sharing intimate and personal feelings. Times when stress levels are the highest are the best times to be emotionally intimate with a spouse. Having someone to confide in and take some of the pressure off can be a huge stress management tool.

At the end of the day we all deal with stress in different ways. But because we’re all stressed out from time to time we must all learn to deal with it effectively. Find activities to do individually or as a couple which minimize the buildup of stress. If stress starts to build learn to deal with it appropriately. And most importantly, keep open the lines of communication at all costs with the ones closest to you.

About the Author:
Robert Cordray is a former entrepreneur/business consultant with over 20 years of experience. He is currently an aspiring life coach, and motivational speaker. If you can’t find him writing articles, you’ll most likely see him on the beach spending time with his beautiful wife and wonderful three kids.

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Posted by Robert Cordray on December 10th, 2012 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

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