First 30 Days Blog

07 oct

Emotional Health

ZulmaCarbajal When I first took a real look at my life a few years ago, I was filled with regret, remorse, and sadness. For one, it finally hit me how many years I wasted making the same mistakes, being in the same situations, dating the same kind of people, being friends with people who were so unlike me, and so on.

While I finally came to the realization that I no longer wanted to live that way, I had no idea how to proceed with changing my life. I was so overwhelmed by everything I needed to work on. Every area in my life was a disaster; my emotional health, financial situation, dysfunctional relationships, physical health, and even problems with my son. You name the problem I had it.

As a single mom, with all of the other obligations I had as well, I felt I did not have enough time for working on all of the areas that required my attention. However, I told myself that if I did not start changing my life it would only get worse and I would be forced to change my patterns. Already I was diagnosed with high blood pressure at the age of thirty and put on medication.

What transformed my life was taking baby steps. First on my list was healing my emotions; the deep sadness that would never leave me, severe anxiety and suppressed rage. I recognized that I was avoiding them by being a workaholic and an excessive exerciser. Later on I used food to numb my emotions, which only made my health problems worse. The healing did not come all at once, but by taking small steps, little by little, things started shifting for me.

I recommend that if there is something in your life that you wish to change, and you are serious and committed to it, start off by taking baby steps. A lot of times when we look at the people who seem to have it all together, we tend to believe that they magically became who they are overnight. But we do not know the daily things they did in order to get to where they are now.

Another thing I learned during the change process is that if your emotions are not balanced, it is very difficult to change your outer circumstances. I will give you an example from my own life. My relationship with my son was a mess. I was trying to fix it because I knew that once he entered his teens, it would be more difficult. But I was not emotionally healthy so I did not have the energy to repair things between us. In fact, my emotional issues were making me impatient and mean. Not until I finally took the time to center myself and learned to release my negative emotions was I able to focus on improving my relationship with him.

Prior to this, I felt I had no time to be dealing with emotions because I had way too many things going on at the same time that required my attention. However, things weren’t getting resolved in other areas challenging me because of my emotional imbalance. So actually I couldn’t afford not to make time for my emotions.

In our society we are taught to ignore our feelings or that emotions are only for silly women. But the truth is, that one of the major reasons that there are addictions is because people try hard to suppress emotions. Some of the emotions people carry since their childhood.

If you would like some assistance releasing emotions please contact me via email,, or you can also see related articles in my personal blog

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Posted by Zulma Carbajal on October 7th, 2012 in Health, New Directions, Relationships | 0 comments

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