First 30 Days Blog

14 dec

Grandma’s Magic Mirror: A Letter to Grownups

DebBattersbyI have long been aware of the power of words to uplift or deflate, inspire or demoralize. Your words not only create your reality they shape the reality of the children and/or impressionable souls around you.

On some level, words of encouragement and discouragement have molded your beliefs about life, about yourself and about what’s possible.

Knowing this, I wondered, how can we help kids grow their confidence and belief in themselves? What came about – and what I’m so excited about! – is a children’s book which has just been published.

This book arose from a practice that I began with my own grandchildren: The Grandma Message practice. It is offered here as a strategy for intentionally instilling healthy, empowering beliefs in those you love and influence.

The practice is simple. It’s all about telling the children in your world how amazing they are, that they are loved and cared for at all times, and they don’t have do or be anything to earn your love.

My granddaughters Rowan and Sylvia were three and four when we started the daily phone calls that became The Grandma Message:

“You are smart and clever, brave and strong.

You are amazing, gifted and complete.

Today you can make a profound difference.

You can BE and DO anything in the whole wide world.

All it takes is practice and believing.

I believe in you!

I am! I can! I believe!”

Making the calls became a habit. Some days the girls were cranky and didn’t want to talk, so I’d leave a voicemail message. They’d sometimes whine, “You always say the same thing, it’s boring.” Chuckling, I said, “I’ll always tell you how amazing you are and how much you’re loved.” What’s funny, though, is that the girls were quick to remind me if I forgot something they particularly liked. Rowan would say, “What about brave, Grandma? We’re really, really brave.” Sylvia loved “smart” and “beautiful
and made sure I always included that part.

Within weeks, the girls started giving Grandma Messages to each other. Sylvia gave one to Rowan when she was crying and didn’t want to go to preschool, reminding her how brave and clever she is. Rowan gave several to Sylvia to keep her from quitting in her efforts to cross the monkey bars. “You’re strong, practice and believe,” she nudged.

Their dad got his share of Grandma Messages too. Once he called home saying he’d be late due to a problem at work. The girls knew what to do. Daddy needed a Grandma Message. Stephen swears it did the trick. He called back a few minutes later and said he was on his way.

One morning, after a sleep over, Rowan asked to call her mom. Secretly dreading she was going to cry and ask to go home, I handed her the phone only to hear her say, “Hi, Mommy. You’re beautiful, brave and smart. You can do anything in the whole wide world. What do we say?” My heart melted, tears streamed down my cheeks; unprompted, a three-year-old was passing it on.

Giving the messages was simple, easy and apparently contagious. I wished I had done this for my children. But wait, they’re still my children; I could still do it. So I called them. My husband was next. I called his cell phone and got voicemail. I left his Grandma Message anyway. Three weeks later it was still saved in his voicemail.

Getting sincere words of love and encouragement for NO REASON seemed to appeal to everyone. Even impromptu messages to friends resulted in immediate replies of: you have no idea how much I needed this.

A friend, concerned about her seven-year-old grandson whose parents were divorcing, needed a way to give him extra support. She started her practice; now they’re having a great time, enjoying the precious minutes shared each day.

Can mere words help someone feel loved and special? Can your words help the people in your life see their value and worthiness? Can hearing your words of encouragement make a difference to someone you care about? If you believe they can, then join in The Grandma Message project. Empower someone daily with the gift of your words of affirmation. Consider the ripple effect of these messages circulating throughout the world every day. If one life is inspired, you have changed the world for the better.

Let’s “teach the children differently.”

Deborah Battersby, creator of the emMatrix Coaching System, and trained by Tony Robbins and other leaders in the field, is a coach known for innovative solutions and dramatic results. She’s helped thousands increase their incomes and take the joyful journey to more abundant living.

Her book, The Magic Mirror and the Grandma Message, is available now at

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Posted by Deborah Battersby on December 14th, 2010 in Family | 0 comments

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