First 30 Days Blog

09 aug

Fear of Failure/Success

feel as though most of my life I have failed at the things I tried. I failed at my first marriage, and my second is headed in the same direction. I get fired up and enthusiastic about things I want to do and achieve but then allow other things to get in my way of reaching those goals.
I am studying homoeopathy, acupressure, and just completed my Level 1 Reiki. I am convinced that these alternative healing methods will help my family and others and believe that this is my passion but I still have doubts as to my ability to carry this off…to actually reach my goal of becoming a fully qualified and capable practitioner.
I always felt that I was the one child in my family that constantly let my parents down. That I did not meet their expectations.The only one who chose NOT to go to university; the only one who chose to homeschool her 4 children; the only one who believes that true “organic” and alternative medical methods is important to a healthier world but the rest of the family is very “follow the doctor’s orders” kind of people and that only the “professional” people know what they are talking about. In other words, if you don’t have a “degree” you don’t know anything.
So I have always struggled with feeling accepted by my own family and in the back of my mind I think their influence although I don’t agree, sits heavily in my mind.
I want to start my own practice and probably end this marriage in which I am quite miserable.

Shared by haygirl.

Posted by First 30 Days on August 9th, 2009 in Personal Stories | 2 comments

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  • You have taken the first step by realizing that you want and deserve more out of life. Just stick to it. Don’t look back, only forward.

    Shared by scooter1042.

    — Added by admin on August 22nd, 2009
  • I can totally relate to what you are saying about struggling with feeling accepted. One thing I have finally realized that this is YOUR life. No one else can live it for you and I think it is fantastic that you found something in life that you want to pursuit. Please don’t worry about “doubts as to my ability to carry this off…”, you will find the confidence in time. Just remember we all go through trials – my passion is bookkeeping. I took a course but never felt I had the confidence to find a job doing this….well each day I tell myself I can do it – and now I am looking for a job that contains bookkeeping in it – even if it means entry level. Just believe in yourself and you will be okay!!!

    Shared by CatDog.

    — Added by admin on August 22nd, 2009

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