First 30 Days Blog

18 jul

Foggy Days Ahead


My name is Warran. I’m here because I’m trying desperately to find peace-of-mind. I’ve been unemployed for over a year now, in debt and at times I feel like a failure. I had hoped to have a great career in voice-over or writing by now, making a lot of money. I’m 32 and still having to live at home with my folks. And while other friends and family have said that it’s okay and I’m doing what I have to do because of the way the economy is, I still feel very awkward. Lack of resources has further prevented me from wanting to pursue other things that I enjoy such as martial arts, traveling, getting a better eating plan so that I can gain a six-pack abdomen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not fat, but I’m still not where I want to be. When it comes to relationships, I don’t know where to start other than I am very attracted to athletic women who study the martial arts. With everything that has happened, I’m searching for that machismo and confidence that every man must have. But here again, I don’t know where to start mainly because of my financial situation. It as if I’m a ship sailing on a sea full of fog. And I’m wondering when I’ll reach the daylight again. Thank you and I appreciate your suggestions and help.


Shared by kuroamurai.

Posted by First 30 Days on July 18th, 2009 in Personal Stories | 2 comments

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  • Warran – thanks so much for having the courage to share your story. Here are a couple of suggestions:
    1) Begin focusing on the blessings in your life.
    I know that sounds like a cliche, but it’s the most important thing you can do. You’ve got two things going for yourself that are priceless. You can look at this as “I’m 32 years old and can’t believe I’m living w/my parents.”, or you can realize that at 32-years old, you have parents that are willing to support you through this transition. You have friends who are encouraging you, not looking down on you. Ask any person on the street, and they might jump at the chance to trade places with you.
    2) Make a list of what your skills and assets.
    What skills and qualities do you have right now that make you employable? Don’t make up the list yourself because we are in seasons that feel like failure, we can be very hard on ourselves. Instead, ask people who know you well to tell you what they think is great about you. You will be really surprised by what they say, and it might be hard for you to embrace it. Resist the urge to discount their comments but instead fight to get really excited about it. That’s where your confidence will come from, and in those comments will be elements of true “machismo”. You may then see yourself how you truly are instead of how you’ve beaten yourself up to appear.
    3) Revive your job search
    Make a list of all the friends and acquaintances you know – even those you don’t know so well. With your “renewed” sense of self (now that you’re all excited about your skills and qualities), tell them that you are looking for work and ask them if they know anyone you should speak with or have any suggestions for contacts. You may not end up with a voice-over role, and that’s ok for now. You are not abandoning your dream, but you are giving yourself greater financial stability so that you can pursue that dream confidently as you pay off debt, etc. Go through everyone, even if you don’t think they will be able to help you. You have no idea what a Goldmine the people you already know can be to you.
    Warran, circumstances don’t make the man, but how you choose to deal with your circumstances will determine whether this is a temporary transition with an epic story of victory and triumph at the end, or a permanent reality of failure. When you step up and overcome, you’ll have all the ‘machismo’ you need, and what woman won’t swoon for a man who’s tried, true and tested!?! Good luck to you!

    Shared by nessagirldc.

    — Added by admin on August 24th, 2009
  • I can’t help but notice your age. It’s perfect for meeting people, because you’re old enough to have some experience and young enough to still have some kickin’ to do. Have you thought about auditing a class at the local college or university? In school most people assume everyone’s on a low budget. So a lack of money may not be an issue. (Sometimes you can ask the professor and he’ll let you hang out in his class.)

    Shared by cobber.

    — Added by admin on August 24th, 2009

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