First 30 Days Blog

19 jun

Second Time

3 months ago this girl from my past called me for no reason, almost 4 years had gone by since she broke up with me. I had no hard feelings for her so we talked. Eventually we started talking on a daily basis and we started dating.
The first month was great, she was caring we discussed our past and agreed on moving on. Then I started to noticed her a little distant, coldish.
I knew about her last relationship (bad one) and also knew she had trusting issues. Gave her time and kept my emotions constant to show her I was different.
3 weeks ago she had a bad PMS I show at her house and he didn´t let me in.
Next weekend she was sick, called her on Friday but didn´t answer so I gave her space. Monday called her again and she was so angry because she felt like I abandoned during the weekend when she needed me the most.
4 days ago she told me we “needed to talk” she explained to me that although she was very happy with me, and felt incredible when we were together, there was something missing. She explained to me that she didn’t pictured me as her boyfriend and was selfish to continue the relationship since she couldn’t guaranteed a future nor even see it.
She told me she wanted us to remain friends didn’t want to take 4 years again for us to talk.
I explained to her that I loved her and that it was not possible for me to be her friend, not at the moment and certainly not sure about the future.
She says it would be easier to transform my feelings if we keep in touch but this only makes me think she wants the good part of having me around without the pressure of having a relationship.
I feel betrayed because I thought he was coming back because he cared about me and was going to try.
Also I feel very dumb for making the same “mistake” twice.
She called me and wanted to see me but she has the same ideas that if we hang out I can change my feelings for her.

Shared by Blue12.

Posted by First 30 Days on June 19th, 2009 in Personal Stories | 0 comments

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