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Separation Anxiety, when you are separated from your child
My son who is 19 years old recently moved about three hours away from me and I am having a problem with separation anxiety. I know that there comes a time in every young person's life when they need to move on and away and make lives for themselves. I worry that he isn't eating properly or that he is going to get into trouble and I won't be there when he does. Make sense to anyone else?? Or am I just being too overprotective? Thanks for any comments.
I'm almost 33 and my sister is 31, and my mom still worries about whether we're eating well, sleeping enough or staying out too late. I don't think that will ever go away, and you're a totally normal mom for thinking of your son.
One way we dealt with it early on was to schedule regular calls home. That way, mom didn't feel she was "bugging" us by checking up too much, and we didn't feel guilty for living our own lives.
Your son is growing up, and of course there will be growing pains, but he still loves and needs you! That won't change.
If you think of this time as less of a separation and more of a new phase in your relationship, this change will come much more easily. Your son is probably nervous being on his own, too, so don't think he's forgotten you! I really appreciated staying in close contact with my mom while in college, so don't be afraid to call him to keep in touch. He will be grateful and probably calling you with questions about doing laundry, or sharing experiences about his new life. In the meantime, be proud you have an independent child seeking success!
It sounds like you're just a normal mom.
You can keep in touch with your son in other ways now by sending cards, calling on the phone, even email, if you have a computer.
You can cook meals to put in storage containers, bake cookies, even make up cards with recipes of purchase the items needed for him to make some of his favorite dishes himself.
You're always just a phone call away if he does get in trouble.
Good luck!
