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thedubrat

Question:Well, I have survived thus far my disability status. I finally received my Medicare & SSA in Oct 2008. My family, those closest to me, thought that once that started I would be OK, they have realized to their horror that it is simply not true. How do I he

I have been the caretaker of my family for as long as I can remember. I have 2 brothers, 4 sisters, 1 foster brother & 1 foster sister. My Mother will turn 70 in May. She is a spitfire and gets along better than I do. Some of them have accepted the fact that I can no longer help them finacially or run to them when someone is ill or has a death. It was extremely hard for me to get them to take over the care of my Mother. She may be a spitfire, but she needs help with finances and needs her hand held quite a lot. She is in TN while I am in the lower part of NC, we are 5 hrs apart. No one would take all of her needs, but I finally got 2 of my sisters to take over her life insurance premiums. I have been paying them since the inception, I literally had to fax my sisters the cancellation letter before they would understand. I have spoiled my family, but don't regret a second of it. I paid for my Daddy's funeral and his outstanding bills, my older brother helped me at the time. Now he is in Daddy's condition, and I had been paying his lights and gas bill for 4 yrs, since his massive heart attack and he had to close his business. People would always ask me why. My answer, I had it, they needed it, I gave it, and it was not just family. I never wanted my sons to have to take care of me and the Rheumatoid Arthritis,Osteoarthritis,Fibromyagia,Migraines,Heart Arrythmia all hit me at once. I worked 2 years longer that the docs wanted me to. The last thing I did before I stopped working was to pay for the burial of my last grandson.Devan was 7 weeks old and SIDS to him to be an Angel for God. That was in Dec of 2005, I stopped working in April 2006. I think losing him was my breaking point. I never recovered from the trip to TN where my oldest son lives, the 3 weeks there taking care of everything and the trips back to help my son and daughter-in-law and Devan's older brother & sister cope. The bottom line is I was a caretaker of my family and friends. Now I need their help, most of them have run, all of my friends, most of my family, putting the burden on my youngest son who lives within 7 miles of me and one of my baby sisters who also lives within 7 miles of me. I am afraid I am losing her totally, she has withdrawn from everything I've asked her to help me with lately. My son is aging before my eyes. Is there anyone out there that can help me help him cope? Anybody? Please.

Asked by thedubrat on 4/29/09 Answer»