Honor Your Feelings

Most experts agree that sadness, loneliness, grief, loss of identity and even mild depression are not unusual for parents confronting the empty nest. Some parents worry if they’ve done a good job parenting and may feel regret. Whatever your feelings are in these first few days of separation and adjustment, honor them.

Take time to acknowledge your feelings. If you have the urge to cry, grab a tissue and go. Even if you feel happy, acknowledge that. Recognize how your child’s departure is affecting you; don’t fight it. The only way you will get past these feelings about your child leaving home is to experience them.

Don’t be afraid to share your feelings with your partner. Order some takeout or pizza for dinner and take turns sharing how you’re feeling. If they’re too hard to vocalize, write your thoughts down on paper and exchange them. Accept that each person’s response to the empty nest may be different—not right or wrong, just different. There may be surprising discoveries about what the other is feeling. It’s important not to make assumptions or judge.

If you’re single, write down all the feelings you’re experiencing in a journal. Or call a close friend, perhaps someone who has already gone through the empty nest, and invite him or her over to share thoughts, feelings and stories.

As in any major life change, dealing with your feelings head-on will help you move past them.