Great Site for Steps
BonusFamilies.com is a site run by two step moms that includes everything from advice on how to merge your two families to how to handle your spouse's ex. And the best part is that these women really don't believe in the whole "step" stigma (hence the name "Bonus Family.") Instead, they are "dedicated to promoting peaceful coexistence between divorced or separated parents and their combined families. Its a state of mind, embracing cooperation on the part of all the parent figures (that means ex’s, too) for the sake of the children."
For those of you in a bonus family, it is worth checking out. Link