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Jeannette Lofas

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Sally Bjornsen

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Dr. Carl Pickhardt

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aliceinwonder

Question:Do we give her what she wants?

My husband and I have 50/50 custody with his three children. The oldest, a 13 year old girl, does not want to be a part of our family. She does not engage in activities with her twin, 8 year old siblings. She does not seem to like any of us, including her Dad. She insists that we should let her go live with her Mom full time and when we tell her no, she and her Mother engage in activities to destroy our home. For instance, once they created a story about under age drinking at our house in order to get CPS to investigate us. There are times that we just want to give her what she wants so we don't run the risk of losing the twins too. Who knows how far they will go. But, we don't want to give up on the child. It feels like if we do give her what she wants, we would be abandoning her. Plus, what kind of message are we sending our children if we do throw in the towel?

Asked by aliceinwonder on 11/2/09 Answer»