Wedding Planning Your Way

Phase One: Wedding Planning Bliss

After he—or she—has popped the question, it’s likely that loved ones will be buzzing about your impending nuptials. The first step, recommend some experts, is to celebrate. Wedding expert and co-founder of TheKnot.com Carley Roney suggests planning an easy get-together, such as dinner or drinks. “Planning something simple is a nice way to focus that initial buzz of energy,” she says. It also gives friends and family something to focus on and temporarily staves off the inevitable onslaught of questions about the details of the wedding.

Some couples prefer to rest on their laurels during the early days of planning a wedding. Likewise, you may want resist frantic planning in order to savor the excitement of your wedding announcement. “We made it a point to not plan anything at first,” explains Carrie Hume of Greensburg, PA. “Not rushing into the planning gave us time to enjoy the moment.” Your relaxed attitude and approach will set the tone for the initial phase of your engagement, and family and friends will likely follow your relaxed lead. If you intend to enjoy the engagement experience, rather than freaking out over wedding favors, others will unwind and celebrate, as well.

Phase Two: Planning Panic

Though a certain degree of elation will stick with you until the big day, the thrill of planning a wedding may taper off unsettlingly fast. “When couples get engaged, they’re in a glow of energy,” says Mark Kingsdorf, owner of Queen of Hearts Wedding Consultants in Philadelphia, “but it fades quickly as others turn their attention back to their own lives. Then you’re left looking at this big blank canvas and you have no idea what to paint first. It can be very frustrating and intimidating.”

Added to that emptiness is a barrage of questions from loved ones. Everything from your event date to gift registry to honeymoon destination is fair game—often accompanied by a generous helping of unsolicited advice. Even though your engagement may be only a few days or weeks old, these questions may make you feel as if you’ve been slacking off on the wedding planning front. “Everyone asked us so many questions right away. It was like a flip was switched and we were expected to have everything planned,” says bride-to-be Nico Wagoner from Brooklyn, NY.