Making the Move to a New City

New Life, New You

There are no benchmarks of how to measure a successful move or transition, but once you arrive in your new city, you should acknowledge the fact that you’ve done something really difficult and succeeded.

“You got there! That is a huge accomplishment,” says Ramos. “The other stuff falls into place when it should. This is the time to get rid of having strict deadlines and let things evolve on their own timetable.”

When you wake up for the first day in your new city, try to erase any pressure for immediate perfection. Adjusting and unpacking take time and settling in comes in stages. You need to get your bearings—find things like your local grocery and drug store, figure out the public transportation system or your driving route to your children’s schools or your work. Little by little you will meet people and start to venture out and explore. Go easy on yourself and don’t try to tackle everything right away. Eventually, a social life and friends will fall into place.

“I always tell people that one of the best ways to weather any change is to stick with what they know,” Ramos says. “This is especially important when it comes to relocating. If you like listening to live music, then find a place in your new city that has great live music. Think about what you love and seek it out. It will lessen that feeling of having to start everything from scratch.”

The best way you can meet people and learn about your new city is to reach out to your neighbors and fellow citizens. “When I first moved to New York, I told everyone I had just moved here,” says Michael Benisty, a Wall Street trader. “You wouldn’t believe the great advice and tips I got from people like my doormen, the girl at the corner store and waiters at restaurants.”

You should also pay very close attention to the spiritual aspect of a move to a new city. “At its core, moving is about the search for something more, progressing forward, putting things in motion. That can be a great positive in your life,” Khen says. Keep in mind that while you are picking up and relocating your physical existence, there will be an internal shift as well. You may find that you were stronger than you were before.

When reflecting on her move, Elizabeth knew she had it in her to make the move to Florida. “Things were tough initially,” she says. “I wasn’t sure whether moving was better kept as a fantasy. But I would never have known how rewarding and life changing it could be if I hadn’t stuck it out during those uncomfortable and uneasy first few months.”