springshine

I agree with Kristen ... the smiles and squeals of children are always sure to get my happiness meter running. Other things that make me happy:

Being out in nature - how can you not be happy when you're marveling at the beauty and bounty of the natural world.
Music - any kind of tunes will lift my mood. It's even fun to whistle!
Memories - thinking of funny times with friends always makes me happy.
Animals - if you like animals and want a few happiness inducers, check out the web site cuteoverload.com

and, get happy!

Hi,

I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. You need to focus on being good to yourself right now. If the divorce is something you are resigned to then you need to focus on moving forward with your own life. Make plans for your future. How is it going to be better than your life now. Think about all the positive aspects of this change (if you can). You can usually find a positive if you look for it.

It sounds like you've had these panic attacks before. How were you successful in dealing with them? Breathing? Gentle stretching? Quiet meditation?

Know that you are stronger and more resilient than you imagine and that you've been through tough times before and will get through this. Don't hesitate to reach out to your friends are there for you, they just need you to ask tell them how they can help you.

And don't forget to Sleep -- Eat right -- Exercise -- and Drink plenty of water. Ariane calls this SEED. It's important to take care of yourself when you're going through a stressful time.

You'll feel a little better each day.

Good luck to you!

I think the best thing would be to try and reprogram your mind. Just the way you laid out the list of all the terrible things you remember, do the same with the wonderful things ...
My mom always wore pink lipstick
I loved how my mom smelled
My mother's favorite flower was the carnation
My mom was a great dancer; she could win a Lindy contest
She still looked good in a bathing suit (even tho she didn't think she should wear one)

Find some photos and other things that will help bring the good memories back into focus.

That person lying in the hospital might have been your mother (her body), but that was not who she was, so honor her by focusing on her life giving force and not the end of her days.

The other thing you can do is "power wash" your house. It might look much better after a good cleaning!

I haven't read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" but I do agree there's a difference between how men and women approach love, sex and fidelity. My guess is that with men it's more about ego, conquest ... competition.

I have male friends who say it's not above love as much as it's about feeding that need they have to have their ego stroked.

Of course, not all men respond like this.

Hi, JOMARYAL

Okay. Thanks for clarifying. I'll look for you in the other topic.

Hi, Mendy

Not every man is unfaithful. You might want to try getting involved with people who are known to be more trustworthy. Do you attend church where you live? Making friends with people from a work group, school group or religious group might give you the opportunity to see healthier relationships in action and find one of your own.

And, continue to talk to your therapist about this. I'm sure he or she can be helpful to you in terms of putting the pieces together, asking the hard questions and looking inside to find the answers.

Many women suffer from low self esteem which often results in a feeling that we don't deserve any better than we get, but this is not true. You deserve the best. Try to feel a little bit better about yourself, treat yourself right and ask others to treat you right as well. If you devalue yourself you set an example for others.

Love yourself and know that you are loved and that someday you may find someone you deserve who will love and respect you the way it is meant to be.