jenniepez

I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time. I agree with the first answer on this post - very much so. I think maybe something might have happened to your daughter to not want to go to school anymore. Maybe it is as simple as her not liking her teacher, or maybe there are bullies. It could be any number of things that she doesn't no how to deal with other than to try getting out of going. Can you ask her if she wants to try another school? Is that possible? Maybe if you give her some tools to try to bring about change, she will get better & be happier about school. She might even be able to tell you what's really bothering her.
Aside from that, a routine is so beneficial. It makes kids feel so much more comfortable if they know what is coming next. Your son's breaking windows is extreme & must be very hard to try & understand. My only suggestion is to try & ignore it & see if he is just seeking attention.
As far as your 2 year old...tantrums are just part of the package for most of them.
Can you afford a nanny? It sounds like maybe you could use a break. Childcare for medical reasons is tax deductible at least.
Another point that was already brought up is nutrition. I notice a difference in my 2 year old's behavior if he doesn't get adequate nutrition or too much sugar in a day. Fun shapes or dipping sauce makes everything more palatable.
Another big one is sleep! Make sure everyone is getting their naps & goes to bed early. If I were you, I would bump everyone's bedtime up 1 hour earlier.
I hope these suggestions help & that you can find some serenity. There is help out there, please seek it out.

The biggest issue for me is papers & junkmail. Try to deal with mail as soon as it comes through the door. If you don't have a few minutes to sort it, don't get it out of the mailbox. Have a set place for it. A bills envelope, box or drawer makes it easy to know where to find them when it is time to pay them. Magazines & other things to read should go on your nightstand or in a bag to bring to the dr's office to read there. Opt out of junkmail & credit card offers.
Another huge thing that I have started doing recently is a 5 minute pick-up at 11:55. Just before lunch, I do a quick sweep & put things away. It makes my afternoon so much less daunting! One thing that I need to start doing - that I don't - is sweeping the kitchen floor every night. I am usually way too tired & it feels like it isn't important enough to talk myself into doing.

I think there are levels. Doing your best to 'put on a brave face' to jumpstart yourself into doing positive things is a big mood booster. But, if it becomes a substitute for recognizing who you really are, or how you really feel, it can be quite crippling.
On a very superficial level, I think it is a good idea. Going to the point of suppressing real feelings is not.