csterling

It sounds to me that the best part of the relationship for you is "fighting for his love". Sorry but this says volumns! You should not have to "fight" for anyones love. Love is given freely or not at all. I agree what you have is a very long chain of abusive relationships. Perhaps you need some counciling to find out what attracts and makes you enter into these types of "no win" relationships. If you are really interested in finding a loving and committed relationship you need to begin with making some changes to yourself because you will never change "Him" whoever it is. Do not make the mistake of finding someone with whom you can have a sexual relationship with and then trying to change that person into your ideal, that responsible, loving, caring person you desire, it's just not going to happen!!! I suggest to try not having a relationship for awhile and getting to know yourself and what you want. Sounds like you spend too much time "fighting" and trying to please someone else that you have no idea what you want from a relationship. These types of relationships never last and actually, all most all men get bored with a woman who has no knowledge or strength of character to know who she is. Might be someone they keep on the side but certainly not someone they want as a partner. If this sounds harsh it is. If you act like a dishrag, you will be used to mop up!

One of my all time favorites is a book that was popular in the 60's. It is a thin book with a powerful message. The Seven Steps to Higher Conscienceness. I also use my AA book and spiritual readings and meditations. One of my favorite morning mantra's is "All of us living love"

I am a baby boomer, I will be a very young 60 tomorrow. Thanks to Mr. Bush, who we can thank for helping to deplete the SS, where do you think those stimulus checks money came from. You got is, from an already depleted SS monies. His administration has been trying to do away with all these types of programs and want you to use private sectors to save for retirement, which is, if you are young, you should start to do, IRA'S, 401K's, if you can take it out of your check, you really will get used to it being gone and won't miss it. I guess like my father, I thought Social Security would be there for me, but gone are the days when you could even live on it. I really don't want to necessarily retire. Retire to what? I will probably retire the day after they shovel the dirt in my face. What I would like to be able to do is work less and enjoy more vacation time, more weeks off or days off, or a 3 or 4 day work week.
So my point is, since most of my baby boomer counter parts are in this mode, if there is SS left 35 years from now, you will have my generation who made getting older different!

Because they are not the right "men". Not all men are like that. Love is born in the heart and in the soul, so the man that does that has neither.
I will say that I try and keep myself healthy and fit and I will be 60 in two days, but I do it for me. And yes I am single, recently went on Match.com and am interested in dating again. No, no one dumped me, I usually left them. If you are true to yourself then you will have the self confidence and the stuff you need to carry on - if he is that shallow you probably should have left him long ago!!!

When I was 18 I went to California, it was 1966 and I was introduced to the Pacific Ocean and the Coronado Beach. That was it for me. I now live in New England and the beaches are beautiful here too. When I go to the beach and see the ocean I feel so small and yet so much a part of all that is. I would have to say it is one of my favorite places of worship and I can be on the beach in a rain storm or a bright sunny day. I also lived in the mountains of Ukiah, California near the Redwood Headlands, grew up and spent summers in the Lake of the Ozarks in Missouri. I feel so close to a Higher Power when I am in and feel a part of nature.

First of all, I agree with the person that said "Remember it is not your fault". No matter if you have gained a few pounds or do not look 20 anymore,(who does). Do not put the blame for his straying on yourself. If things have not flamed as they used to it is up to both of you, not just him, and not just you, to rekindle the sex and the romance. Usually the problem is the cheating, but it goes much deeper, it is a sign that something else is going on. Much like drinking or drugs, addiction to relationships and sex, have a root problem. Forgiving him, forgetting the hurt, all of that is irrelevant unless he is willing to go to counciling for the both of you and work at the relationship. If he wants you to just sweep it under the rug and forget about it, I say back his bags or yours, because it will happen again and you would save yourself a whole lot of hurt. I have seen it get easier and easier to cheat each time. Let him know that this behavior is not acceptable, it is not going to be kept in the dark and it needs to be addressed and some sort of healing needs to come out of it or he will loose you. If you are afraid to take that stance chances are you already doubt the love he has for you and now that he has cheated you will never have a moments peace and neither will he.

If you think you are an addict, you probably are. One sure way to find out is try going without a drink for a day or two. If you can not you are probably addicted. I am a recovering alcoholic. I have been in recovery for many years. It is not something that is ever fully "cured". The only way is to not drink at all. There is no such thing as a "controlled" alcoholic. If there was I would certainly still drink and so would all my AA friends.
We did not stop drinking because we did not like to drink, we stopped because we got tired of being sick and tired and maybe because somewhere in the back of our mind we began to realize we did not drink because we had a problem, (everyone has problems, we addicts deal with them differently) rather we began to realize drinking was at the root of our problems. We all have our stuff to deal with, by hiding, self medicating and "relaxing" ourselves with drugs and alcohol we rob ourselves of the learning process of going through them and experiencing them and learning from them, that is what "normal" people do. I highly recommend AA to anyone who thinks they have a problem. It turned my life around. I never went ot rehab, never lost a job or a home directly because of alcohol and certainly did not think I was one. I am and as soon as I admitted that I was on the right track. Go, what have you got to loose. They will welcome you, talk, you listen and if it is not for you, turn around and walk out. God Bless.