bstarr

Hello,

I'm not sure I'm understanding your question.
Is it: How do you begin to get organized?

You might want to start by reading the "getting started" article in this topic and sign up for the email tips, if you haven't already done so.

You might want to check out some of the books in the resources section on this site. I just saw one that caught my eye:

What Every Woman Should Know about Divorce and Custody
By Gayle Rosenwald Smith
Judges, lawyers and therapists share winning strategies on how to keep the kids, the cash and your sanity. The book is designed for women at every stage of divorce.

http://www.first30days.com/getting-divorced/resources/books?page=2

I can't wait for you to get home and for you to have your baby in your arms, again. I'm sure your baby will know you in short time (if not immediately).

I think if you take it slow, on her terms and with dad's help, it should be hardly any time before she's reaching out for her mama's arms.

I love what lilliede81 says about holding her close and feeling your rythmn. I'm sure there is something to that. I was reading about Dr. Harvey Karp and how he calms babies by making them feel in some ways that they are in the womb again ... he does it by the way he swaddles the baby and holds them close to his body ... gently "shhushhing" into their ears and creating come warm and welcome white noise to soothe their fears.

Anyway ... it will be so great when you are home.

Your profile shows you as a woman, so I'm a little confused, but let me start by saying that unless you've already read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," you might have grasped that men and women feel differently and react and respond differently to matters having to do with sex.

Speaking as a member of the female persuasion (and for me personally, not all women), I'm looking for a mental connection as well as some sense of security and stability. I need to know where I stand. I need to know the person I am giving myself to is going to be there for me ... and that I am always going to be first.

Beyond that, I personally feel the need to have an ongoing relationship ... it's hard to get comfortable to the point of intimacy with people who are transient ... by the time you get into a comfortable groove, they're gone again.

You might want to consider examining her needs -- it could be that both of your needs are not being in met in which case if sex is that important to you, it might be time to move on.

I wish I knew. It seems like I haven't changed, but the rules of dating have and suddenly I'm not in the game anymore.

For me, I think it has to do with carrying a few extra pounds as well as not making as much of an effort to dress up as I used to. Not that I ever dressed to attract a man, but I do think I made more of an effort to be "attractive." It seems like you have to at least get as far as attracting them if you want to get any further along. . . and yes, I don't think , not all, but men are looking for youth and beauty, in part, because they are so unsure of their own mortality.

Did you see "Moonstruck" with Cher? Olympia Dukakis asks a similar question throughout the movie and finally comes to the conclusion her husband is having an affair because he fears his own death.

Interesting question!

You need to find something to tie the reason for losing weight to. Is it an outfit you want to get into? An event you want to attend? A love interest you want to impress or just something you want to prove to yourself? Make it about that and not about losing the weight.

It's easier to get motivated when you can find a tangible reason why you want something to happen.

I do the same thing as Kiki76. I get into a comfortable position on the floor or in bed and just start tearing out the things I want to keep. I put them in folders, not binders because I don't have the space for binders.

I also keep an eye out for pictures to use on my vision board. If I see a beautiful garden or lovely home I set it aside to be cut out and put on my board.