"I am very taken by Ariane's concept and the philosophy of the website. In any case, I just loved the idea and am glad to chance upon it while reading Oprah." -Marion
Read More Testimonials»

Our Improving Your Sex Life Experts

Lori Buckley

Lori Buckley

Licensed clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist.

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Ian Kerner

Ian Kerner

Sex expert, certified counselor and author

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Tristan Taormino

Tristan Taormino

Sex educator, author and Village Voice columnist

Shared by First30Days View Profile»

Meet all of our Relationships Experts»

Got a Question?

Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

falczuk

Question:How do I get my girlfriend interested in sex again?

I have been with the same woman for close to 7 years now. We have a great time when we are together but sex has dropped out of the relationship. Any ideas how to rekindle that part of our life?
It was wonderful for the first couple of years but has now stopped completely.

Asked by falczuk on 6/30/08 1 Answer»
bstarr

Answer:

Your profile shows you as a woman, so I'm a little confused, but let me start by saying that unless you've already read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," you might have grasped that men and women feel differently and react and respond differently to matters having to do with sex.

Speaking as a member of the female persuasion (and for me personally, not all women), I'm looking for a mental connection as well as some sense of security and stability. I need to know where I stand. I need to know the person I am giving myself to is going to be there for me ... and that I am always going to be first.

Beyond that, I personally feel the need to have an ongoing relationship ... it's hard to get comfortable to the point of intimacy with people who are transient ... by the time you get into a comfortable groove, they're gone again.

You might want to consider examining her needs -- it could be that both of your needs are not being in met in which case if sex is that important to you, it might be time to move on.

Answered by: bstarr on 6/30/08
Got an Answer?