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I HAVE A COLOSTOMY,STILL FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE HAVING SEX WITH MY HUSBAND.
I HAD TO HAVE A COLOSTOMY DONE DUE TO HAVING MY COLON NICKED WHILE HAVING A COMPLETE HYSTROMY(?)IN2000,THEN THE REMAINING OF MY COLON WRAPPED AROUND A HERIA I GOT 2YRS.LATER.
Every marriage has it's own challenges. This is one of yours. Good news is your husband is in it for the long haul. He's been with your for many years, and despite your surgeries and your feelings of discomfort, he's there for you.
Men love to feel close to their wives, not having sex with him, is probably hurting him more than anything. It's pushing him away.
I understand you don't feel attractive, so consider changing positions. What about trying it doggie style, so your bag isn't in the way.
Additionally I hope you've talked about your feelings so he can put them to rest. You are not your bag. You are more than the sum of your parts. He is with you not just for your body, but because of how much he loves you.
Let him show you his love physically, that's important to him surely. And by doing that, you'll feel better inside and out.