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Sinking the Friend Ship

Sinking the Friend Ship

Instant gratification is always fun when you're talking about a great pair of shoes you found on sale or an ice cream cone. But when you're dealing with your emotions you're getting into a whole new flavor of potential danger.

According to a study by researchers at Michigan State University, 60% of college co-eds admit to having a friends with benefits relationship. At the offset, the idea of having great sex and a great friendship without the fuss of an actual boyfriend or girlfriend sounds like it would be a win-win situation. However, if you're headed for FWB-land, you could be charting dangerous territory. It's almost 100% guaranteed one of the friends will end up falling for the other and end up getting burned.

"Biologically speaking, sex is a drug," writes contributor, Simcha, on The Frisky. "Or at least it feels that way for women, thanks to oxytocin, the hormonal transmitter that makes you feel happy, relaxed and bonded to your partner after sex."

Another setback for both male and female participants is that if you're devoting time to an FWB relationship, you're sucking up energy that you could be put into finding a new romance.

Be honest. If you feel like the friendship you've developed can turn into something more, tell him or her. It's better to know early on if you've got a shot than to drag it out and maybe even get hurt.

Posted: 9/26/08
monicamiller

hummmmm, been there and done that one a time or two! I totally agree with the saying, that if two people go to bed together, someone is going to get up with feelings. Whether is just out needeness or just a spark of love, that is very shakey ground. For many, they don't yeild to the advice and follow through to find the pain that is waiting around the corner. I remember being in one of those relationships thinking if I just keep it going, he will love me. Wrong, he fell in love with someone else and there I was holding on to something that was only based on sex.

LauraLee311

I agree that a friends-with-benefits situation usually does end up with someone getting hurt. But it sure is fun while it lasts! And if you guys were really that good of friends, you'll eventually become friends again. If not, well, then you really that weren't good of friends to begin with.

Tyffanie

I understand what you are saying, but after a person has been in a marrage for 14 years, and then burried your partner. And is not in the best of health yourself, facing surgry myself it may be the only relationship that makes any sence, as to not put a new mate in a bad spot and make him run away from you. Thats my opion, Poplarbirdy.