Pardoning Peccadilloes

When we make the commitment to rebuild a relationship, it's necessary to accept the other person and overlook pet-peeves. Even though it's tough, learning to cope with others' shortcomings is paramount in improving relationships.

“My advice to anyone who wants to improve a relationship is to accept the other person as he or she is,” says Jasmine*, who had a difficult relationship with her father for most of her 30 years.  “They might not be willing or able to change.”

Eventually, she came to the realization that her father was never going to be physically or emotionally demonstrative. “He’s never going to pick up the phone and call just to say he loves me. He is not that person,” she explains. “Once I accepted that, it was much easier to deal with him.”

Even though she felt disappointment when he didn’t meet her expectations, Jasmine learned to accept him gradually, warts and all. “One day, I just figured out that I have a lot less heartache when I see him as he is, instead of how I want him to be.” Jasmine says their relationship has improved and they speak weekly.

Read about more successes like Jasmine's in our feature, "Finding Relationship Help."

[*Name changed]