Expert Network

Brenda Della Casa

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Internationally published author of Cinderella Was a Liar and a columnist for Lifetime and Divorce360.com

Sue Blaney

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Communications expert and author, dedicated to empowering parents of teenagers

Gay Hendricks

Gay-hendricks
Founder of The Hendricks Institute
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Who Cares If It Turns Out Right?

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Tips

Bite-sized pearls of wisdom from our editors, experts, and community. Hint: If this is your first visit, make sure you start by reading our First30Tips.

Honesty is the Best Policy

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Lying destroys relationships. Even seemingly harmless fibs usually compound over time to the detriment of friendships, marriages and the like. Committing to honest behavior will go a long way to improving relationships.


Before you can open up to others, you must first be honest with yourself. Sit down today and write a list of problems you have with particular relationships. Use “I” statements when making your list. This will put the focus on you and not the other person.

Some examples of “I” statements include: “I feel isolated when he comes home from work and doesn’t say hello;” “I hate going to work because my boss is so demanding;” “I feel like a failure when my teen doesn’t listen;” or “I get angry when my mother-in-law makes racist comments.”

Later, when you feel ready to share these honest statements, they will be truthful self-reflections, instead of pointed accusations. This ensures non-threatening honesty about the problems you have in the relationship.

Read our relationship expert interviews to learn more about the important of honesty.

Posted: 11/22/08
first30days.com