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If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

debriale

Question:I have been with my husband for 1o years, This year we will be married for 5. He is an alcoholic. We argue everyday, we are in counseling and for some reason it is so hard to break up. I am a very negative person and think and say alot of negative things.

It seems like we have been through it all. My husband really is a great man. his problem with drinking is now taking over him. Our therapist even feels an emotional connection with him. I just dont know what to do. I am very negative about everything that is going on (with much reason) but i sont want to let go and niether does he. It seems like something keeps us together for a reason. I believe he can change and I believe he wants to but doesnt know how. My question I guesss is how do I keep from being so negative and livivng in the past. I live in the past everyday and am angry everyday,When I try to talk myself out of it it just creeps back in. I want to be happy and I want to live everyday in some kind of peace... Can u help us. What can he do?

Asked by debriale on 7/24/09 2 Answers»
Marieke

Answer:

I would suggest the book Remembering Wholeness by Carol Tuttle, which really put me on a new track of not feeling so guilty and undeserving of joy and light in my life. Like sashamarie indicated in her answer, worrying right now will not change tomorrow, but it will definitely ruin today. What is in the past you cannot change, your feeling in the present you CAN change by changing your thougths. You actually CAN master your feelings with your thoughts. And that will change the future, it is guaranteed!

Answered by: Marieke on 10/8/09
sashamarie

Answer:

I got some great advice from a friend of mine. I have the same issues about negativity. He told me to "live in the moment", enjoy that moment in time it its with your kids, stop and reflect the good and don't worry about what the other person is doing or not doing. You can worry about what they did or haven't done. You need to do little things everything. Whether is a walk by yourself and and reflect on postive things. Be thankful for your health, that your are alive and enjoying a walk. The past is the past and we can't do anything about that. Take it a minute at the time and be grateful for being alive and that you two are still together trying to change.

Answered by: sashamarie on 9/8/09
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