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Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

GeriGreene

Question:I have given too much to my mostly adult children

I am beating myself up for giving so much to my semi-adult children and find myself nearing the end of the money that should have lasted me and grown into a pleasant opportunity for retirement.

There are so many changes in my life that I am overwhelmed and feeling fearful when I envisioned this time in my life would be freedom. I feel foolish and without direction. I can't re-do what has been done, but I am feeling foolish and helpless.

Asked by GeriGreene on 2/13/08 2 Answers»
oldgold

Answer:

Lighten up, kiddo. We learn by trial and error, not trial and success.

Answered by: oldgold on 4/29/08
VictoriaB

Answer:

Parents are hard wired to be loving and giving, almost to a fault. You should be congratulated for being so selfless in this regard. You're not foolish to be caring and giving. How could you do otherwise when your children needed you to help them?
Take some time to focus on you and what you need to be strong and healthy. You won't be able to continue to help your children if you can't help yourself.
Try to find people you love and trust that you can lean on, people who can offer you the advice you need to get on track with your finances, so you can hopefully recoup some of that money and get it growing again for your retirement.
Try to get some spiritual nourishment into your life to help lessen that overwhelmed feeling. Congratulate yourself for how much you've done and endured in your life to date, knowing that you can get through this time too.

Answered by: VictoriaB on 2/13/08
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