"I have always wanted to start my own business...fear keeps rearing its ugly head at me. I love your web site. I'm hoping to write back to you someday and tell you that I DID IT." -Sheila
Read More Testimonials»

Our Grieving Experts

Dr. Therese Rando

Dr. Therese Rando

Psychologist, grief specialist and author of How to Go on...

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
David Kessler

David Kessler

Journalist, author and motivational speaker

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Helen Fitzgerald

Helen Fitzgerald

Certified death educator, author and lecturer

Shared by First30Days View Profile»

Meet all of our Family Experts»

Got a Question?

Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

profshell

Question:How to remember an anniversary?

My aunt (my best friend) died almost one year ago.

She was only 11 years older than me. At 52, she died of lung cancer.

The last few weeks were very difficult and I stayed at the hospital with her for the final week.

I was the last person she ever was able to say a word to: at 3:00 am, one morning, she told me her back hurt and she never said another word after that.

I was there Thanksgiving Day.

She had 2 kids and 10 granchildren and we orchestrated Christmas in the hospice hospital room. (Before she got so bad, we had done most of the shopping and had a gift for each child they could keep forever.) She hadn't opened her eyes in days.

I talked to her while each child opened their present and told them "Grandmom" could hear them. After the presents were opened. she opened her eyes one last time and I was able to have each of her kids and all 10 kids give her a hug and say they loved her. She couldn't talk; but she could hear and she saw them.

She never opened her eyes after that. She died on November 28, 2007.

I feel the need to do something special next Friday but can't seem to figure out "that" is.

I love you Aunt El.

Asked by profshell on 11/23/08 3 Answers»
VictoriaB

Answer:

I love the idea of sending a balloon up into the heavens. I know a family who spread their father's ashes in the ocean and each year they return to the same beach for a little prayer before going off to have a meal together.

Some little tradition that keeps the family together sounds like a lovely way to remember someone. Especially someone who seems to have had a strong family connection.

Much love to you and your family.

Answered by: VictoriaB on 12/10/08
profshell

Answer:

Thank you for your answer.
We had a rembrance dinner and I bought a gold balloon (got the idea from Hospice). We all signed it, said a prayer and sent it up to heaven.

I did shopping for my Christmas adopted family.

Thanks for the volunteermatch idea.
Michelle

Answered by: profshell on 12/4/08
LMAYO9

Answer:

I'm so sorry for your loss, and it sounds like it got really hard towards the end for you. You sound like an amazingly thoughtful and empathetic person, so my suggestion to you would be to do some volunteer work at a local hospital and volunteer to cheer up others who are sick and suffering. While you're doing that, be mindful that you're doing this in memory of the aunt you loved so much. VolunteerMatch.com and Idealist.com are good sites that offer volunteer opportunities in your area.

Answered by: LMAYO9 on 12/1/08
Got an Answer?