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Does that feeling of always being alone, even in a room full of family members, ever go away?
My husband died 8/07/07, on his 53rd B-day. It still feels like yesterday, sometimes. My kids are all grown & married, so it was usually the 2 of us. He was my best friend. I have lost others, Mom, Dad & 2 brothers within the past 10 years, but none have hurt this badly.I moved to our mobile home in De.because we had our Pa home up for sale & it sold right after he died,,,thought it was a sign from God or John..to go to De. That had been our plan. I have no close friends there or here for that matter, so I feel alone except for my kids and grandkids at either place anyway. Does anyone else understand what I am saying & know if it gets better?
Rednde, I found it quite normal to feel alone sometimes with others. I lost my husband on 7/16/07. I didn't move because the housing market fell out. Tom was my best friend and partner as well. He taught me how to love fully and completely. I know I will never find that again. I also know that he wants me to get on with it. I started seeing a counselor to help me with the feelings, being young (46) and having him die suddenly, I didn't find support groups helpful at all. I have no children so I relied heavily on my friends and family. I think perhaps you could try some counseling, perhaps a local singles group--not the meat market kind but a group that gets together for dinner, theater--etc. Get Out and meet people, it will get easier. Especially if you had a good marriage. Those of us with really good marriages tend to get back into the swing of things quicker than those who had crappy ones. I am seeing an old friend of ours and he has been SO GOOD for me. Please be good to yourself and GET OUT THERE, GIRL!!!
It sounds to me that your needs are not being met.
And that is one of the reasons you feel alone when in
a crowd of people. I know, because I have been there.
I would suggest you being good to yourself and start
doing things that you enjoy in life. This will take the
burden of being alone off you. Make good quality
time for yourself doing things you enjoy. This should
help you to start feeling better in no time. GOD Bless!
In Christ's Love,
Brenda
It sounds like you had a very special bond with your husband that will not be easy to replace. That doesn't mean you can't have that again or you will always feel alone. You are dealing with your loss and your grief on your own terms. No one can say how long this should last. However, I'm sure one day you will realize you feel a little better and then things will improve from there.
You can likely see the company and support from others in similar situations. Grief support groups do exist. I know my mom found help connecting with other women who lost their husbands to cancer when my dad passed away.
It's going to take time and you will need to establish some new habits and make some new friends. Start by being good to you and look for things that will make you happy, because I'm sure your husband does not want you to be sad.
Think about what he would have wanted for you or things you would have wanted to do together and see if you can't honor some of those wishes.
Take comfort in knowing you are loved.
