"Ever since I subscribed to your site the daily reminders are the only thing I read apart from email and the NY Times headlines and weather. I am hugely critical of most self-help information, but this is not what your site is. I save 1 in 2 of these and have kept a library folder. They are intelligent, concise, relevant and are pitched at exactly the right level." -Martin Chalk, CEO, Balance Water
Read More Testimonials»

Our Getting Divorced Experts

Martin Kranitz

Martin Kranitz

Author of Getting Apart Together: The Couple's Guide to a...

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Gayle Rosenwald Smith

Gayle Rosenwald Smith

Lawyer and author of Divorce and Money: Everything You Need...

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Bill Ferguson

Bill Ferguson

Former divorce attorney and author of How to Heal a Painful...

Shared by First30Days View Profile»

Meet all of our Relationships Experts»

Got a Question?

Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

lettinggo

Question:How do you tell your spouse you are leaving?

I'm ready to leave my husband, but am so worried about telling him. He's not the most stable person in the world. I know how he chooses to deal with reality is exactly that - his choice. But I'm scared. How did you guys do it?

Asked by lettinggo on 9/24/08 3 Answers»
reader67

Answer:

I just want to say that I am in this exact same situation. So I completely understand your feelings. The last time I tried to leave my husband he went out of control and I feared for my safety. I stayed and still planning on leaving, but I am going to move everything out and then tell him, so that I have a safe place to go after I gauge his reaction. Trust your instincts, I say. And be safe rather than " nice".

Answered by: reader67 on 4/14/09
coleman

Answer:

This was a long time ago and I was very young but I told my ex that I needed some time and space to figure things out. I moved very far away and filed for divorce. Immature yes...but I was scared out of my mind. Also you should know that some states REQUIRE a period of separation before the divorce can take place.

Answered by: coleman on 10/23/08
bstarr

Answer:

Much depends on what you mean by ready and scared. You've packed your bags, the moving van is outside and you fear for your life or you're resolute about your decision to separate and you think the conversation might be tense.

Answered by: bstarr on 9/26/08
Got an Answer?