I'm 48yrs old and was just hit with the I want a divorce he did not explain i don't even know why it really knocked me off my feet. here it is day 3 and i find myself crying on and off during the day and waking up at nite. what you need is a support team right now not a long distance relationship because they also can be very painful. i found a support team and i'm working on feeling and doing better for myself, try that first and then when you start feeling better and realize that you can do better then think and just think about a relationship. it's early in my divorce preceedings but my support team shows me that god is on my side and you don't need to stress yourself. oh crying is good for you.

Why is it that everything I'm reading tends to make the man out like he has no feelings and takes a divorce so non-chalantly - in my case it is just the opposite - I have been married for over 40 years and my wife chooses to longer be married, saying she is the type that probably shouldn't have gotten married in the first place - as for me - I am the one crying and hurting - all men aren't as insensitive as they are made out to be -please help me here.....

Hello, Why would you want to have intimate relations with someone you bearly know? You need time to found out what you really want and need in your life.Those are two different things. Don't jump into any relationship right away. Give yourself some time. Divorce is a big step and your going to go through lots of emotional stress.Reach out to God, He will help you if you ask and trust Him. A friend, Shalom

...Isabelmorinigo, it is nearly an unbearable feeling of mixed emotions...age has nothing to do with it but we tend to beat ourselves about the age we may be I know how you hurt..but i truly encourage you to read "Women who love to Much" then "Men who can't Love" in this order, if it had not been for these books and he encouragement of non judgemental opinions I would have gone mad, We believe in fairytales Men do not, maybe if we wisen up and learn that there is no Prince Charmin or Knight in Shining Armour we will not be so volnurable w/our relationships, i think we tend to be subbmisive when we love and love w/our whole heart, soul & mind Men interpret Love in a different way we do they live the moment while we interpret Love as forever wanting to believe it is to live happily ever after...read these books Please trust me, they have the answers women like us want answered by the men who hurt us, so we can have closure but they will never answer ours because they themselves don't understand themselves take care my email whenever you want to use Realtorsyl@hotmail.com

Dear, dear Isabelmorinigo,

How hard it is for you right now! I'm sorry that you are having such a difficult time. I also, am going through a divorce -- it's not easy!!! My announcement was July 17, and like you, I have experienced a roller-coaster of intense emotions, old memories, regrets, and at times, panic. This is a step into the unknown. I must believe with all my heart, that the Universe, Creator, Higher Power, will guide me.

It[s as if I have let go of 1 high-wire trapeze & have yet to grasp the next one, as it comes toward me. A very unsettling experience. . . .

During this time, I'm using an affirmation to keep myself in a positive frame of mind -- I AM STRONG, CONFIDENT, & CAPABLE
TO HANDLE ANYTHING THAT COMES MY WAY. I AM FILLED & SURROUNDED BY UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!!

I am using meditation, exercise, and doing something special to reward me, every day. That usually, is going to a beautiful spot in nature for an hour to an hour and a half.

I am paying very close attention to eating healthfully, and getting sufficient rest & sleep. This is a time of turmoil and stress, so I've got to really be on top of taking care of me.

Can you create your own affirmation?

When you begin to feel in a panic, can you redirect your thoughts to something or someplace that you enjoyed, felt "fulfilled" and happy? Can you then Breathe, Breathe. . . .Breathe deeply?

As Springshine has stated, now is the time for you to look at you & see what you want in your life.
Make plans and short & long term goals. Focus on the positive opportunities of your future.

Ask your friends and family for support. Seek counseling of a professional or clergy, if that will help. Massage might make a difference. Acupuncture may also be of assistance.

We can help and support one another.
Can we be friends?

If you want to talk, you can reach me here, or at lilliede81@gmail.com.

I KNOW you're going to make it, and so am I!!!!!
Lillie

Hi,

I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. You need to focus on being good to yourself right now. If the divorce is something you are resigned to then you need to focus on moving forward with your own life. Make plans for your future. How is it going to be better than your life now. Think about all the positive aspects of this change (if you can). You can usually find a positive if you look for it.

It sounds like you've had these panic attacks before. How were you successful in dealing with them? Breathing? Gentle stretching? Quiet meditation?

Know that you are stronger and more resilient than you imagine and that you've been through tough times before and will get through this. Don't hesitate to reach out to your friends are there for you, they just need you to ask tell them how they can help you.

And don't forget to Sleep -- Eat right -- Exercise -- and Drink plenty of water. Ariane calls this SEED. It's important to take care of yourself when you're going through a stressful time.

You'll feel a little better each day.

Good luck to you!