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Question:how do you deal with the depression

my husband and i have been married for seventeen years i had four children after my kids father and i got divorced two wanted to live with their father one lived with his grandmother i had the oldest daughter yes i got involved in drugs with the husband i have now my daughter got killed in a car accident and i guess i never recovered from that now i have tried to make up to my other kids for not being in their life when i should have but my now husband says i care more about them than i do him when my son got into trouble i allowed him to come to stay with me until he got on his feet he left me after three days and said i put my kids ahead of him in the meantime while i was working for the two years before this came about i found out he was (counseling a widow woman from church spending much time with her) i forgave him for whatever might have happened but he left two years ago and still says my children are the reason he can't live with me i do still love him but he is now insisting on a divorce i don't know how to deal with the situation i don't know if it really is that he is jealous of my kids or if it is the other woman i have no family or close friends to talk to about this so i am so distraught i have actually considered suicide can anybody help me with some kind of logic

Asked by MARYDS on 5/21/08 2 Answers»


I too feel depressed and have suicidal thoughts daily, sometimes hourly. I could never do that to my kids, no matter how much I might want to, but it doesn't make the thoughts go away. My life is a mess. I have lost everything that had any value to me, including relationships.
I know that when one door closes, another opens, but just lately it is hard to have faith or hope in anything. One thing that has really helped me is a website called divorcecare that sends a daily email about divorce every day for a year. It has groups as well, though there isn't one in my area until Sept. (!).
These emails have helped me more than any other thing. They tell me that it is normal to to feel depression like this, have suicidal thoughts, lose other relationships, etc. They have taught me that divorce is so all-encompassing that there is really no area of your life it doesn't touch. It is like a tornado ripping through, leaving devastation behind. I certainly feel this way, and I am the one who wanted the divorce.
I guess for me, knowing the feelings I have are normal, means that others have gone through them and made it out the other side. Even though I can't see it and don't really believe, time is healing and you and I will be whole again.
Not having anybody to talk to about this stuff makes it so hard. The few people left in my life say things like "don't focus on the negative", not understanding that I really need to vent, so there is not one person I can really talk to. I am hoping to find an outlet here or on some other sites like this. If you need to talk or just dump, feel free to add me to your friends and I'll be happy to listen. Hang in there, sweetie.

Answered by: letmeout5 on 5/27/08


This seems like a very difficult situation. I'm truly sorry for your loss and for the challenges you are going through. It's hard when we can't truly know or understand why things happen.

I hope that you can find some counsel—perhaps a pastor, counselor or supportive therapist who is trained to guide you through a difficult and emotional period. There are lots of ways to get help. If you are feeling like you might hurt yourself, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). It is free and confidential, and they can help you 24 hours a day. There is no need to go through this alone!

Answered by: kristen on 5/22/08
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