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Question:Forgive ness or just get a divorce

My husband and I have been separated for 5 years. We keep coming back to work it out off and on. Now he has a girlfriend that he has been with for 3 years. He has been telling me lately as before but lately that he really wants to work things out and be with me and the kids as a family. And yesterday I found out that the girlfriend is pregnant and is due in 2 months. Now should I be mad and base a divorce on that. But what I dont understand is that he is saying that he want to be with me and work this marriage and family out when all along this girlfriend is over there pregnant and he never told me until yesterday when i advised him that someone saw his. I am not sure what to do. He is saying that I dont understand that he loves me and wants to be with me. I feel like he has started a new family. I dont know what to do just move on or work it out. But he is not telling her that he wants to be with me or loves me and he said that he wasnt going to tell her.

Asked by curious on 5/14/08 11 Answers»


curious, the flesh tells us to things without thinklng because we are hurting at that time and we are bitter. but , guess what , we must for-give if we don't we can't see anything clear until we do. with forgiveness your bitter will get better and you will feel so much better with-in yourself you will know just how to handle this and feel good about it. only god can fight our battles every time we do it ourselves we mess-up. remember your bitterness today will make your tomorrow better. now all that said, when you get this divorce make sure your heart and mind is clear. peace

Answered by: peaceful1 on 5/19/08


My Husband is kind of doing the same thing now, minus the g/f. Your husband like to come over and play house, like he is part of the family again because that makes him feel safe, then he goes back to his single life with g/f and he feels free again. Now he is going to have responsibility again with another child on the way. So, naturally he runs to you because you are "safe" and you are already there sholdering all the responsibility. If he loved you and wanted to start over with you and make this work he would not have a g/f and he would be living with you. Get a divorce, you do not need to be his "Mother" who he can run to and get to be a child. Good Luck to you and I know and understand what you are going through. Mine has been out a year and I just filed and we are in the middle of it now.....

Answered by: Feline_67 on 5/17/08


Honey, I would move on with my life. He has shown
his true colors already. Now he must pay the price for
his tasteless decisions he has made without you.
This guy needs counseling. BIG TIME! Why would
you want to go on with someone who doesn't treat
anyone right! HE MADE HIS BED; NOW HE MUST
LIE IN IT! He will never learn his lesson if you keep
bailing him out. You are too good for him. Move on
and let him learn life his way which is obviously the
Don't be a door mat for anyone. You deserve the
best. And don't ever forget that. He is not your
problem! He is his own problem. Tell him to get
counseling, wish him the best of life's blessings, and
move on! The sooner the better!.
In Christ's Love,

Answered by: cactusgirl08 on 5/16/08


It sounds to me that this is the typical "wanting his cake and eating it too." If your husband really did love you, he would be there with you and your kids as he states he wants to. I am so sorry that you are going through this and I hope you find a resolution soon. No one can tell you what to do because you will be ready on your own time. But I would walk away because it's obvious that he's not serious with you.

Answered by: twinsmom on 5/14/08
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