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Our Getting Divorced Experts

Martin Kranitz

Martin Kranitz

Author of Getting Apart Together: The Couple's Guide to a...

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Gayle Rosenwald Smith

Lawyer and author of Divorce and Money: Everything You Need...

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Bill Ferguson

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Q&A

If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

lis1114

Question:I have been married for 26 years and my husband no longer wants to be married. He is 49, I am 50, the kids are grown and I was looking forward to spending more time together and enjoying life. I am an emotional mess. I have been going to counseling. T

Asked by lis1114 on 9/9/09 9 Answers»
LaurieDeer

Answer:

hand in there and do listen to your gut, it will always steer you in the right direction. You are a great person and tell yourself that everyday.

Answered by: LaurieDeer on 2/17/10
amllucy

Answer:

My husband left me after two affairs and leading a secretive life. Our ongoing divorce has shown me that he isa person that I did not know existed but I am now getting more confident as I take time for myself had therapy and do yoga. I have 6 children and 3 are at home. Be aware listen to your intuition and you will move forward to a much better place. It is a process and much learning. All the best

Answered by: amllucy on 1/14/10
martin21779

Answer:

I also can relate with all of you as I am also going through my husband of 30 years leaving me because he didn't want to work on the marriage with marriage counseling. He is 49 and I'm 48; we had seen a marriage counselor for a few sessions and our marriage did improve but then he stopped going and his "anger management issues" came back. He moved out to an apartment in September and I am just trying to get through each day. I also am an emotional mess and have been seeing a counselor.

Answered by: martin21779 on 12/15/09
momesu

Answer:

I am new here but would have to echo that you are not alone. My husband and I have been married 38 years...raise three children who are now wonderful young adults. I knew there were some problems in our marriage but fooled myself with the thoughts of "what marriage doesn't have a few issues" One month ago my husband announced we needed to see a councilor because there were big problems then two weeks ago announced forget the councilor he didn't love me and probably hadn't for 10 years or more and he got himself an apartment and moved out this weekend....and to think that a little over a month ago I was lanning a happy family Christmas celebration.....

Answered by: momesu on 12/14/09
awhess

Answer:

This is probably one of the most difficult situations to have to face. Clearly these "husbands" have made their own decisions--and acted on them. The wives are conflicted. Why? It could be financial--they lack money/skills to live on their own. They may fear to be alone--or feel they want/need a man. Get a good lawyer and explore what your options are. Find a support group who have faced this situation and survived. Have friends who care for you and are available to do things with you. Spend time and money on yourself you deserve it. Make a life for yourself and enjoy the days ahead. Action is the best cure for the blues.

Answered by: awhess on 11/21/09
dsayless

Answer:

I know exactly what you're going through; my husband tells me he loves me & doesn't want to lose me but his best friends are coming over here telling me that he's had two girlfriends for the last year or so, one of them only 18-19 years old, & he's 57!! (disgusting on both their parts, if you ask me!!) SO I totally get the not knowing what to do thing; should you be what you know full well is a total idiot & trust him one more time, or be smart & lonely & struggling with all the trials that divorce brings?? I guess you choose whatever will let you hold your head up when you look in the mirror. I know I have to divorce/dump the no-good son of a beetch, but it's hard!!

Answered by: dsayless on 11/21/09
lydia51401

Answer:

In 2005 I found out my husband had been involved with someone young enough to be his daughter for 4 years! Then he said he didn't want to be married and moved out. I held out all this time but am now ready to divorce him. I am finding out I don't have to answer to anyone about what I do, where I go or how I spend my money and I got a dog who is happy to see me - not like a loving husband but guess I didn't have that for years!

Answered by: lydia51401 on 11/20/09
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