Getting Through Your Divorce
Though hiring a financial adviser is a smart move, hiring an aggressive lawyer can be a more critical key to success during a divorce. That doesn’t mean the process has to be acrimonious. It does mean that you need to have someone with the legal know-how to protect your best interests, whether it comes down to the division of property, custody or monetary support. Be sure to hire someone whom you are comfortable with and who is as accessible. If you need a recommendation, ask family members or friends for a referral.
Hiring a good lawyer is “the first step to a good post-divorce identity,” advises twice-divorced Victoria Nevins of Southampton, PA. “Some women—especially those who did not initiate the divorce—roll over and say, ‘Whatever.’ They’re perpetual victims,” she explains. “Don’t roll over. Come out of the box fighting. Empower yourself. Don’t let the divorce cripple you.”
Talking to the Kids
Though your feelings may be all over the map, your children will be caught up in the emotional maelstrom, as well. Even if you haven’t told them directly that you and your spouse are getting divorced, it is likely they have known the divorce was coming for a while.
The best scenario, says social worker Linda Kanner, is for the parents to tell the children together. She says younger children need to understand that “mommy and daddy won’t be doing things together with them” and parents need to explain the new living arrangements.
Children will naturally ask why you're getting divorced, and, Kanner says, that’s the most difficult part. “It’s important to be as non-biased as possible, to not bad-mouth the other parent,” she notes. Kids see themselves as a product of both parents, she explains, so if they think badly of one parent, it will reflect on their own self-worth.
I believe that the post says that getting a divorce is a traumatic life altering event.It is an awful experience but I'm glad that there are professionals that can help people to get through divorce. :)
People need take care and be aware that the first relationship after a divorce can often be the 'rebound relationship' - a frantic desire and a clutching out for a new relationship . often experienced in an attempt to take away your pain, however , this usually only offers temporary releif as this new relationship is often caused by low self esteem and poor matching due to impaired judgement. For these reasons ,these rebound relationships are generally short term only. Friends are vital, but relationships can be disasterous until we are feeling happy about being independent and single. Our choice of partner will then be more objective and successful.
All the best
James
Link
Divorce certainlyhas 3 stages, (emotional. financial, legal)( running concurrently with the other stages of death (e.g. denial, anger, etc.).
However, and although this does not help stop divorces, please know that the nationally reported statistics of close to 50% are inaccurate. This figure is derieved from using the # of divorces that year as the numerator and the number of marriages that year as the denominator. Actually, then the divorce rate is more like 20-25%. Unemployment statistics are reported similarly: the 10.4% cited is at least double and cloer to triple. This is because statistice used do NOT include those who have already exhausted their benefits, those who are still engaged in the fact finding review process, those who have not bothered to apply because they don't understand they are eligible or are not well advised of the process, or are too proud to do engage in the process, or who did not quailfy because they had not worked 3 consecutive quarters, or do not qualify because they are self-employed or farm workers, or do not qualify because their company was negligent in paying regularly or adequately into the insurance fund due to their own economic issues, for example. Economists then state that the real unemployment rate is usually at least double and closer to triple the amount referred to in the media. This is because only those currrently receiving benefits are counted as being unemployed.
my ex wife prefer a girl
I am getting a divorce and I am shocked that my husband has told everyone else before me that it was over 4 years ago! Excuse me shouldn't he of talked to me and not led me on for these past 4 years thinking that everything was okay?
I am so darned confused about all of this.
SRLD