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If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

BlackEmma

Question:Have you ever had a sexless relationship

What about moving from New York to Baltimore Maryland and meeting a guy that you are totally compatible with and everything is nice. But you both have some issues that you need to iron out and first on the agenda is no sex until the wedding day. Wow!

I mean, I am all for it but we are an older couple, he is 51 years old and I am 43 years old with two grown children we are nowhere in the realm of virgin district but he says that he believes that it will be worth it on our wedding night.

Me well, I am going with the flow of things but in all actuality, I am like a volcano,"I'm ready to errupt".

So tell me what do you think. I am just hoping that we can get through this because I am not at all going to say that it isn't frustrating because it is.

This is a very fragile issue in our young relationship and I feel as if I am going from being a sonic blast to a dud and it's rapidly advancing to boring.

So what would you do in a situation, I am thinking about finding other situations to place that void or maybe just replace the man.

Asked by BlackEmma on 10/22/08 3 Answers»
aliciak

Answer:

Wow that's a tough one. I feel like the physical chemistry issue is such a big deal! I mean, I know plenty of people who have waited till marriage for a variety of reasons, but I can't imagine realizing on the wedding night that you're incompatible that way.

Answered by: aliciak on 11/1/08
Eva1873

Answer:

Has he become religious/more faithful in recent years? That might be why he wants to wait. He may also just be at the point in his life where sex is less important than companionship. Remember that as a man's sex drive decreases after 30, ours revs up (so unfair!) My suggestion would be to talk about it with him. Find out why he really wants to wait. And if you can't get on board with it, then maybe this isn't the right relationship for you.

Answered by: Eva1873 on 10/23/08
runnindownadream

Answer:

I don't want to seem like a Debbie Downer, but I'd be worried that he has some kind of problem he doesn't want to tell you about. Could it be he's insecure about something and wants to wait until he's gotcha?

Answered by: runnindownadream on 10/23/08
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