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Wendy Atterberry

Contributing writer for The Frisky

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Helen Fisher

Anthropologist, author and advisor to Chemistry.com

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Amber Dotts

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If you have questions about this change, you're in the right place. Our editors, experts, and community of change optimists have answers!

bruinkid

Question:Why is it so hard to just have a relationship?

I don't understand. I am 37. It seems human being has the capabilities to achieve whatever he wants. I have been able to achieve, at least to certain degree, what I want to achieve. Whether an advanced degree, get into a top firm, or even a profitable startup. But I just don't have a relationship. Is it I didn't try hard enough? Or my unconsious mind doesn't really want it? One day I was reading a book in Barnes. It said, 'look around and notice the thing which catch your attention. That is what you really want'. I looked at a lovers sitting next to me. That was 8 years ago. Today, I am still single. Maybe I live in a place where I can't meet guys? But it doesn't make sense to move to a place where I can meet guys. It would make sense to move to a place for work. But here is another word I just read in 'the Answers' - if you are interested, you do what is convenient for you, if you are committed, you do whatever it takes. I have done whatever it takes in terms of career. but isn't the Book say 'don't hop to a plane to see the guy with any execuse - visit your grandma, etc'? I don't understand. Should I be commited to finding a relationship by moving to a new place (I now live in a small town)? But isn't it love come at a time when you don't try to find it? Isn't love supposed to come naturally?

Asked by bruinkid on 7/3/08 2 Answers»
dmitha5

Answer:

I believe you are correct. Usually you fall in love when you are not expecting it. I also believe that there is someone out there for everyone. Be positive and concentrate on yourself and I have faith that it will happen before you know it. Until than, just be happy.

Answered by: dmitha5 on 7/25/08
Kiki76

Answer:

Are you truly open to finding a relationship? Are you out there living a life that puts you in the path of love? Sometimes I think we unwittingly build our lives so that it looks that we are so content in our singleness that we can't possibly make room for a partner.

It's great to work toward your own goals and love your life as it stands—but if you really do want love, continue to seek it, and don't be afraid to look a little further than your town! Two of my good friends recently found love on eHarmony—and both are marrying men who didn't live anywhere nearby! Have you tried dating online?

Answered by: Kiki76 on 7/3/08
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