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Wanting a Steak, Settling for a Burger

Wanting a Steak, Settling for a Burger

Sometimes writing things down in a letter to a nationally syndicated columnist for the whole world to see can really put things into perspective. One 42-year-old man wrote in asking for advice on his passionless marriage and it didn't take long for his true problem to surface.

"I weighed my options and took the leap. I felt that I may never find my ideal woman and settled for her," he tells MSNBC columnist Gail Saltz. "In other words I settled for hamburger thinking I might never get steak."

Saltz was correct when she responded by telling him that the only emotions he is cultivating with his wife are contempt and disdain. "Those are about the worst emotions you can have when it comes to reviving a troubled marriage," she writes.

Imagine how the poor woman would feel if she knew she was the wifely equivalent of a quarter pounder with cheese?

The notion of settling can be tough. On one hand, you don't want to cast aside a potentially worthy mate just because he or she doesn't match the picture of your dream guy or girl. You could go through your whole life and never find a Pamela Anderson look-alike with a Ph.D. in astrophysics. However, if you haven't grown to love a person's imperfections, it's not fair to either of you to settle, no matter how old you are. [MSNBC]

Posted: 6/26/08
Rubyredvett

I can so relate to this article. I currently have chosen to live alone. I don't think it would be fair to my potential mate, if I can't look them in the eye and say I love you and mean it. I have lots of male friends I say I love you to in friendship. I believe there is a huge difference in friendship love and soulful love. What I want to know is, when you found your "soul mate" and the two of you love each other but can't ever be together. How do you move past that? I feel it in every fiber that I love this person. How do I move on, now that all hope of being together is lost?