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I KNOW I'M NOT ALONE

erynnsmama

I am a 51 year old happily married woman.

I'm in the throes of menopause, and my husband got laid off after working steady for 30 years...we are losing our house, and our toybox trailer,our beloved Boxer dog is very ill,........had to turn in the company gas card.......things are really rough, and i have battled depression/panic disorder my entire life.  It runs in my family.  I have an older sister on permanent state disability because of it.

   Every single second and minute is a struggle.  I don't react well to bad things happening in  my life. I don't cope well AT ALL. 

  I have been on anti depressants for the past 18 years, and was recently put on zoloft to cope, and heal.

  I have many dear friends that surround me, i am lucky enough to still live in the town where i was born, so i have a lot of connections, as does my husband, but man we were sure dealt a big blow.

  Having the rug pulled out from underneath you isn't so scary in your 20's or 30's, but in your 50's it can be paralyzing.........

   I say to myself "How many new beginnings can we do?"

  What is strange is, I have (being a gemini) always craved change, and usually initated it myself, but when something happens in your life that you DIDN'T INITIATE, it is so terrifying.....i have been heavy, thin, blonde, brunette, curly straight, short, long, christian, jewish..........yea.......you'd think i could rally back from change like THAT...(Snap of the finger) but this time, it really has thrown me for a loop.

  I keep asking myself 'Is it menopause? making things seem so terrible?

 I know i'm not alone

I know there are so many of you out there scared and in the same 'boat', and i guess i know things will get better, but i'm such a chronic worrier.........and in the bible it says "Worry never added one half hour to any mans life"

   I think of that when i'm really down........

I pray and just hope there is someone or something up there listening, and holding out a hand for us (husband and I) and I can't help but feel a bit better.....

Thank You for letting me 'share'

Shared by erynnsmama on 6/10/08
ladytinker

My heart breaks as I read your post and my stomach is in knots.
My husbands hours were cut like in 1'/2 which is allot and my adult daughter with 3 small children (3, 1, and 3mos) just moved in. So, our household went from 3 to 7 with 1/2 the income.
OUr grocery cupboards were almost totally empty for the first time last week.
I work full time and my daughter has a job at night for min. wage.
So, I know some of what you feel. I too take anti depressants. Started about 8 years ago when I just sat at my desk and started crying all the time.
Yes, I still feel depression hit but like you I do my very best to "trust the Lord". Sometimes I too not sure if my prayers are being heard; but, I have to remember he works on his schedule not mine.
Hang in there and I will do the same. Take care of Boxer in his last few months or weeks. At least you have close family.
We retired from the military and have no family where we live and never found any close friends.
Hugs

springshine

I think it's really important that you recognize that you are not alone, because sometimes that is so important in helping us get through a challenging time.

Menopause is no fun, for sure. You might want to speak with a doctor or pharmacist to see if there are any treatments available to help you through this time.