I KNOW I'M NOT ALONE
I am a 51 year old happily married woman.
I'm in the throes of menopause, and my husband got laid off after working steady for 30 years...we are losing our house, and our toybox trailer,our beloved Boxer dog is very ill,........had to turn in the company gas card.......things are really rough, and i have battled depression/panic disorder my entire life. It runs in my family. I have an older sister on permanent state disability because of it.
Every single second and minute is a struggle. I don't react well to bad things happening in my life. I don't cope well AT ALL.
I have been on anti depressants for the past 18 years, and was recently put on zoloft to cope, and heal.
I have many dear friends that surround me, i am lucky enough to still live in the town where i was born, so i have a lot of connections, as does my husband, but man we were sure dealt a big blow.
Having the rug pulled out from underneath you isn't so scary in your 20's or 30's, but in your 50's it can be paralyzing.........
I say to myself "How many new beginnings can we do?"
What is strange is, I have (being a gemini) always craved change, and usually initated it myself, but when something happens in your life that you DIDN'T INITIATE, it is so terrifying.....i have been heavy, thin, blonde, brunette, curly straight, short, long, christian, jewish..........yea.......you'd think i could rally back from change like THAT...(Snap of the finger) but this time, it really has thrown me for a loop.
I keep asking myself 'Is it menopause? making things seem so terrible?
I know i'm not alone
I know there are so many of you out there scared and in the same 'boat', and i guess i know things will get better, but i'm such a chronic worrier.........and in the bible it says "Worry never added one half hour to any mans life"
I think of that when i'm really down........
I pray and just hope there is someone or something up there listening, and holding out a hand for us (husband and I) and I can't help but feel a bit better.....
Thank You for letting me 'share'