Love at First Site
Lynn Ray, an over-35 online dater in Boston, has used both large and niche online dating sites. “Keeping positive is easy because I meet so many fun people and definitely potential men for a more serious relationship,” says Lynn, who frequents Match.com and recently signed up on Fastcupid.com and Equestriansingles.com to increase her odds of meeting someone special. Fastcupid has already allowed her to meet up with two people in the first three weeks of joining.
The biggest piece of advice Lynn has for someone debating whether to try an online dating site is this. “Definitely take the time to do it. It really brings out the best in you. I wish I had started this years ago.”
Creating Your Dating Profile
Each dating site asks members to create a profile, a page with your vital stats, photo and whatever additional information you choose to share. Your profile is central to your success as an online dater, says Lori Miller, spokesperson for Lavalife.com, a dating site with multiple channels for connecting singles. Loris says “make sure the written part of your profile really reflects who you are,” she says. And always use a current and flattering photo.
Erin Webb*, 36, of Austin, is on eHarmony.com and says that the profile requires a lot of time and thought. “It took me a couple of weeks to finally get it where I really wanted it,” she says. “And I went back and changed a few things—not to make it ‘better’ but just to reflect things that have become clearer through my last relationship regarding what I need and want.” Erin says that’s it’s tough to make a profile unique, but has heard from several guys that her profile is much more thorough and fun than most.
By showing off your personality, you’ll likely get positive feedback, too. Be truthful and have fun with your profile. Everyone says they love to travel, but be specific, and tell a story. A good way to start is to peruse other people’s profiles to get a sense of what makes a good one. Many sites offer tips on what to include in your profile; you can also ask friends to help you brainstorm witty ways to talk yourself up while being honest about who you are and what type of person interests you.
David Seritts, a 29-year-old New Yorker who has used numerous dating sites, including Lavalife.com, and actually dated for two years someone he met on MySpace, is attracted to photos that give some insight into a girl’s personality. “Yearbook photos are drab. You on horseback tells a story,” he says. A turnoff, he says, are profiles that include a long list of what someone is not looking for, rather than what she is seeking. And finally, don’t forget to spell check. “Even if you can’t spell outside of your profile, don’t give people a reason to skip over you because of typos in every other sentence,” David advises.
If you’re still feeling lost, there are professional services that help people write charismatic profiles and take or enhance existing photos to post online. Although some people consider it somewhat dishonest to have someone else write your profile, Moore doesn’t see it that way.