Express Healing From Your Divorce
During the first 30 days of a divorce, the key to healing fast is how you feel the hurt. "If you feel the hurt as a victim, you can cry for days or months and have no healing," suggests Bill Ferguson, author of How to Heal a Painful Relationship and If Necessary, Part as Friends. "If you feel the hurt deliberately and purposefully, you can have healing in minutes."
As Ferguson explains, the more you're willing to feel the hurt—both the hurt you feel from the circumstances and the deeper, subconscious hurt of being worthless—the less the circumstances are a threat. As a result, the hurt surrounding the situation loses its relevance.
"The hurt doesn't exist in reality; it exists in our minds and…seems very real," Ferguson reminds us, noting that just as worthless is your reality, so is worthy. "Once we heal it, life doesn’t bring it to us again."
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