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Onward and Upward

Onward and Upward

Dealing with a breakup or divorce is hard enough on its own; the last thing you want to do right now is holiday cooking… or decorating… or shopping. You couldn’t face the mall right now if your life depended on it. Unless maybe you were going to buy a dozen dead roses or a bunch of sad, sad movies.

When you feel lousy smack dab in the middle of the giving season, there’s only one thing to do: Get selfish. Take the focus off "the event" and put it back on YOU. Today, think of one small change that will get your life moving in a more positive direction. Even if you don’t think it will make a difference do it anyway.

Take the money you were going to spend on that significant other and spend it on you. Get a new haircut (The signature move of anyone going through a breakup. Extra points for a new color, too!). Sign up for a class, plan your ascent up the corporate ladder, figure out how much you’ll save after you downsize your home… anything that helps to redefine your life in a positive way. It won't be the only thing that heals your heart (time does wonders for that) but it's a great, proactive start.

Posted: 11/4/08
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kelijy

WOW, Really? I have found that, yes take the focus off the stress of the "event" is true enough, but make the focus about someone else. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, or help deliver toys for toys for tots. Adopt a family who cannot afford gifts for their kids and deliver them and watch their face light up with appreciation. That is a feeling you wont forget, and you will not be able to think of your own sadness when you see how you touched the life of another person!

  • By kelijy
  • on 11/5/08 2:50 PM EST
STONEBULLDOG

IT SEEMS LIKE THIS ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN FOR ME. MY BOYFRIEND OF 7 YEARS, WHO IS VERY ILL WITH CIRRHOSIS, WALKED OUT ON ME LAST FRIDAY. I GO TO SLEEP IN TEARS AND WITH GOD'S GRACE I WAKE UP EACH MORNING WITH A SMILE AND THE KNOWLEDGE THAT EVENTUALLY IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY!

wishuponastar

The year I split from my husband I went away with a friend during Christmas week. It was odd not to be with family for the holiday, but liberating and fortifying as well. Sometimes you need a change of scenery to hasten the healing.