"I just wanted to say this is a great idea. I plan on checking everyday. Thanks!" -Jean
Read More Testimonials»

Our Breaking Up Experts

MJ Acharya

MJ Acharya

Author, blogger and healer of broken hearts

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Mike Riley

Mike Riley

Co-author of How To Heal A Broken Heart In 30 Days

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Melissa Kantor

Melissa Kantor

Author of the young adult novel The Breakup Bible

Shared by First30Days View Profile»

Meet all of our Relationships Experts»

Got A Tip?

Tips

Breaking Up

GiniMaddocks

I think that breaking up can be a metaphor for "getting clear".  The babyboomers, long years ago (as my 4 year old granddaughter puts it), felt the inclination to "find ourselves".  For women, it's an evolutionary step for human-kind. And it correlates with menopause, the age Buddhists believe to be "adult", finally.  When we lose our eggs, our priorities change.  We can find out who we are without the overriding need to create other-life.  In deed, it's time for our own.

Every time I break up, I "find myself"-- on a deeper level.  And it gets harder to recognize who I used to be and what I was willing to accomodate.

As we age, our relationships need to be refined or even redefined because we have become every experience we've had.  None of us get out of here without history.  Who would want to?

Shared by GiniMaddocks on 5/15/08
GiniMaddocks

Thanks, JuliaW. I hope that your remember to hold that intense desire and observe yourself as you live life.

I don't think that I meant to create "other life"--I think it sneaks up on you in our society, arising from the innate female impulse to make peace out of chaos and disruption. Too often, we find ourselves AFTER we've self-sacrificed and convinced ourselves that we were happy to do it.

But it's helpful to look from a 3rd person perspective to stay in your place of balance and true-self, seeing emotion and how it affects you rather than being shifted by its force.

You sound wise enough to manage that.