"Hurray!!! This is a wonderful site and I wish you the very, very, very best." -Nancy
Read More Testimonials»

On the Relationships Blog

See Beings Not Bodies

When we encounter someone, the mind summarizes & simplifies details. Though fast & efficient this process also has lots of problems.

Read More About See Beings Not Bodies»

Our Breaking Up Experts

MJ Acharya

MJ Acharya

Author, blogger and healer of broken hearts

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Mike Riley

Mike Riley

Co-author of How To Heal A Broken Heart In 30 Days

Shared by First30Days View Profile»
Melissa Kantor

Melissa Kantor

Author of the young adult novel The Breakup Bible

Shared by First30Days View Profile»

Meet all of our Relationships Experts»

Got A Tip?

Tips

Tune in to Your Creativity

Icon_tip_5
An impending break up isn't always easy to see. When Sara’s boyfriend of five months gave her the “It’s not you, it’s me” spiel, initially she was devastated. “I had no idea he was thinking of leaving me, though looking back I should have seen some signs,” she says. “The last few weeks, Ted kept finding excuses not to get together and when he did come over there always seemed to be a reason he couldn’t stay over.”

After a “lost weekend” where she didn’t emerge from her apartment except to walk the dog, Sara poured herself into a long-neglected hobby: song-writing.

“At first the songs were all ‘He done me wrong, poor, poor pitiful me’—super wallowing numbers,” she recalls. Gradually her work moved away from broken hearts and crushed roses to embrace more idiosyncratic topics like lazy summer days at the beach, how much she hates cell phones and rush-hour traffic. “I got so caught up in doing something I loved. There were longer and longer periods when I forgot I’d lost someone I loved.”

Finding something that sparked her passion and gave her a reason to get up in the morning helped her realize she was a lot more than a person who suffered a breakup.

Find out how other break-up survivors found inspiration in our feature, "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."

Posted: 2/10/12
hamsa2010

Reading about someone's "lost weekend" isn't helpful when I think many of us go through weeks of mourning. Is one weekend really the norm? Maybe you need to clarify that it was still tough afterwards. I've been trying to do something good for myself everyday, but I think a few days isn't realistic to expect someone to just dust themselves off.

STONEBULLDOG

MY FRONT ROOM HAS BEEN REPOSITIONED SO I DON'T HAVE TO WALK INTO THE HOUSE AND SEE WHERE HE USED TO SIT. I ACTUALLY LIKE IT BETTER THIS WAY! DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T THINK OF IT BEFORE.