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marah2448

Question:Reading the majority of break ups, why it seems men tend to treat women that are good to them, so badly? The women they married, and said,"I love you" too did everything for them. When the relationship did not work out and hold on to pass relationships so

Overall, the men I have dated were in previous relationships/marriages but did not work-out. By the way, the men from my now past were much older. Speaking in general, they tend to treat women who are being good to them, so badly, hurtful and the good women continue to get the bitter end of the stick. But the women they married or was in a committed relationship the men treated them so well, even though they brought conflict, chaos and kids(children are a blessing) but you know sometimes it used against male as a vengenance.

Why it seem the men tend to hold on bad relationship alot longer and carry it to the next relationships than women? Do they realize a good woman only want the simple things in life? I thought being in a relationship with a older man, he is assure of himself, moved on from the past but instead, they present to you the good behavior from the beginning, then the real start to reveal himself-especially when they are well accomplished- in there mind(status, money and power)use it as a - something over you- If you do not act right, I want take you with me anymore when the good woman there are with has less(status and money). Not to mention, the mental abuse coming from the past and have not let go.

I did not start dating until my mid 20's and (the men in live were both much older. After my past experience being in a relationship with older men(3 years and 2 years), I have decided to meet men in my age group. I am beginning to think all men are the same. We live in a generation now where men do not want to commit are try to work the flaws in the current relationship; instead the easy way or excuse just be with another woman or just want to have someone on the side.

It is amazing how the much older men has allowed the now 21st century generation molded them into believing if this relationship does not work out, something I do not like, or just let to believe there will be something real but not, I just find someone else and continue to do this to the next good woman. What happen from the good morals the older men was taught in the 60,s. It seem it has faded. An more so, most of the men tend be less involved with God. There still some good men 15%. I am beginning to think men are good for one thing, since they now play games.

The last man I was with after break up with me and said, " I do not think I can ever fall in love again" put himself back on the online dating service with the same wording when meet on the site. How scary is that - damage goods and ready to do the exact same thing he has done to previous women because he had not let go of his past.

I know there still some good men left, that want a great woman with no drama but there are more bad apples(on the outside it looks good but on the inside,so much unrepairable destruction still there waiting to take out on the next good woman just to make up from the woman that treated him wrong. There are women that may do the same thing but not as many because we tend to talk about, cry and eventually move on and once again run into damage goods again. We women are much stronger.

I am not giving up but this not 21st century relationship is not the same anymore. Understand why there are so many more single people and homosexual. I hope someday I will met that speacial someone but not now. I know it will happen when you least expect it.

Asked by marah2448 on 11/19/08 2 Answers»
marah2448

Answer:

Thank you Lizzie314 for your answer to my question. I am not giving up; just past relationship is a lessonlearn. An not to allow same mistake to occur on my part.

Answered by: marah2448 on 11/19/08
Lizzie314

Answer:

I think, unfortunately, men and women give each other bad raps. You might be reading that a lot of men are doing women wrong, but that's because women are more likely to talk or write out their feelings than men will. I haven't done a study myself, but I have an inkling that both sides are equally to blame for relationships gone bad.

I think the first step towards a healthy relationships is to stop assuming that the other sex is out to get you or mess up your life, and stop assuming that you are the righteous one...and this goes for both men and women. So much of a relationship's failure lies in poor communication and bringing baggage from other relationships into new ones. If everyone could just get to a point of mutual respect and understanding throughout a relationship, then when things don't work out for one reason or another, maybe we'll have fewer hard feelings or the need to make exaggerated generalizations about each gender. And this applies to ANY issue you have in a relationship, even infidelity. What is infidelity really but someone being unable to communicate one's needs??

I'm by no means a dating expert, but I do consider myself pretty good at relationships. And especially for women, until we get past male bashing and start changing the way we view relationships, we'll never get past this back and forth.

Marah, remember that the "good old men" with morals taught in the 60s or any generation also had affairs and lied to their girlfriends/spouses...again all circling back to that communication thing. If you're not having luck right now, keep trying. But it's up to you to be honest about what you need and want up front, and not to take any crap when you feel you're being mistreated.

My friend always says, "There's a lid for every pot." You'll find your lid. Just keep looking and don't give up on the other sex!

Answered by: Lizzie314 on 11/19/08
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